Last night, the Ashinator hosted us for Easter egg coloring. The intent was to color eggs with the Gremlin, but that didn't happen.
Digger and the Gremlin were at my house, waiting for me to get off work, and the Gremlin was struggling. He was tired, cranky, and just wanted to go home. As time got closer to leave for Ashinator's, he got progressively crankier, which, in turn, made Digger stressed and cranky. Gremlin insisted the he just wanted to go home. Tuesdays are parenting switch days, so Digger and Gremlin's mom meet at his speech therapists for the hand-off. She drops him off, Gremlin does his therapy, then they both head to my house for our usual Tuesday night family dinners. By the time it was getting time to leave for Ashinator's he hadn't been home yet.
Seeing Digger's growing frustration, and Gremlin's crankiness, I told them they weren't obligated to go. The Bionic Cowgirl was headed over there, I was headed over there, but if they didn't want to go, I wasn't going to force them.
Of course, this sent Ashinator through the roof. She'd been planning this for a couple of weeks, and we were all looking forward to it. I completely understood. I also completely understood that when Gremlin gets cranky, Digger gets stressed, and no one has a good time. AND, I could understand Gremlin not wanting to get in the car and drive another 20 minutes to go to another place that wasn't home.
Let's face it, there are times when I'm tired, overstimulated, and just want to go home. Most of the time, I feel obligated and I go anyway, and I'm miserable. Though, honestly, there are times when I'm happy I forced myself to go do something when I don't want to, the majority of the time I'm just counting the minutes until it's acceptable for me to leave.
Egg coloring was supposed to be fun activity for Gremlin, and he might have had a blast if we'd forced him to go. Ashinator and Mr. Ashinator are two of his very favorite people in the world. He knew that's where we were going, and he still wanted to go home, which, to me, was very telling.
I don't know, maybe I should have forced the issue, and not given Digger the green light to go home. He was willing to go and force Gremlin to go, but I started wondering why I would force them to do something that neither of them had any desire to do. It wasn't work, school, or a doctor's appointment. In the grand scheme of things, it was something the adults wanted to do with Gremlin.
Also, I wish that someone had given me grace to pass on activities like this once in a while when my kids were little, instead of feeling forced because it was expected of me.
Am I sad he didn't want to participate? Of course!
But it turned out just fine. The five of us had a good time, and colored eggs without them. We were able to just sit and hang out, five adults, doing an activity that we have fond memories of doing as children, using Grandma Nita's old coffee cups that have held our egg dye for decades. It was nice to be able to hang out with my adult kids without it being kid-centric, and I'm actually okay with the decision to let Digger and Gremlin bail out last minute. Their loss.
