Jay and I love to host BBQs at our place. I use the term BBQ loosely. Maybe they should be called “food events” instead. We live in a very small house, so hosting has to be done during the summer months. Our events typically are attended by between 20-30 people. Not a ton, but not an insignificant number either.
Last summer, just as we were getting ready to host an event, we were headed home from the store and I was running down my to-do list in my head. Because our house is so small, and the only access to the bathroom is through the mudroom, kitchen, and our bedroom, I feel the need to clean the whole house. I’m a feral housewife, not a domestic one, so I keep the house lived-in, but not spotless. I mentioned to Jay that maybe we should just rent a porta-potty for our BBQs, then no one would have to go through our house to get to the bathroom
As soon as the words left my mouth, I remembered that Bill built a collapsible outhouse to use at the livery we ran 20-ish years ago. I knew for a fact that it was still standing at the lodge, so I called Mom to see if I could have it.
She was kind enough to say yes, and the next time I was up there, we disassembled it and loaded it onto the back of her truck. It was definitely worse for wear, but I was confident that we could revive it.
There was no way I could get the outhouse ready for the upcoming gathering, but looked forward to getting to use it for this year’s events.
I managed to assemble the outhouse, but not at all the way Bill did it. He’d designed it to fold flat, and then be stood up, like a cardboard box, but there was too much damage to some of the support structures to do that, and I had to replace them. It was a really cool design, but I couldn’t replicate it. Since my intention was not to have to move it from place to place, I figured I’d just screw it all together and not worry about its relocation potential.
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All laid out and getting its cat scan |
Bill had built it on a pallet with some linoleum flooring, but the pallet disintegrated when we took the outhouse apart. Pallets are not in short supply around our house, so I replaced the pallet and added some stick ‘em vinyl planks.
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The kids' friends are certainly handy to have around. |
Mom had offered me their chemical toilet that we’d used with the outhouse, but once I started looking into the waste disposal I passed. Bill always handled the waste disposal, and let me tell you, I had no idea what really went into it. He’d come to the livery every morning, take the toilet to the lodge, do some magic, and bring it back a little bit later ready to use.
I started looking into alternatives and came across some bags meant to line 5-gallon bucket toilets. Additionally, there is a gel to add to the waste that turns it into a compostable solid. The whole bag, once solid, becomes compostable. But let me tell you, no human waste is going into my garden. The bag o’ stuff can just compost at the county dump, not our house.
I’m not opposed to the 5-gallon bucket camping toilet set-up, but was certain I could find something better - and I did! An old chamber pot cabinet. I picked it up from FB marketplace for next to nothing. It's a little rough and needs some sanding/finishing, but I love it. It doesn't look very big, but the bucket is about a gallon, which should be plenty for a gathering of our size.
By the end of October last year, the outhouse was ready for use.
But, then winter hit, and with it, the winds. Stupid Colorado winds blew the outhouse over and knocked the roof clean off. I let the outhouse lie on its side for a while, then got motivated to put the roof back on and stand it back up. It stood without a problem for a few months until another big gust knocked it over again.
Except, I didn’t take into account that our ground is so rocky. Even with the drill, the anchors weren’t going into the ground. The outhouse was standing, and I decided figuring out the anchors was a problem for another day. My mental solution was to borrow Mom’s auger, drill the holes for the anchors, throw in a handful of concrete, backfill it, water it, and then the anchors wouldn’t be likely to pull out and the outhouse would stand despite our stupid winds.