My Poo Doesn't Stink

Well, it might, but you'd never know it.

I saw this commercial on Facebook and laughed my butt off.


In fact, I enjoyed the commercial so much I hopped on Amazon and bought a gift set.  I figured even if it was a joke (despite the tons and tons of reviews that say it's the best thing since sliced bread), anyone who could come up with a commercial like that deserved my money.

Jay just kept shaking his head and telling me that I had just bought snake oil.  I laughed and said, "nope, it's going to work."

When it arrived in the mail, I couldn't wait for one of us to have to go.  Now, I know that sounds wrong, but, really, with the on-going argument about whether or not it would work, I needed to know that I had won.  I even called him and asked if he was brewing something up.  The answer was no.  What the hell?  When I needed him to have a bad case of fire ass, he had nothing.

The minute he would walk into the bathroom, I'd holler at him to "spray the toilet", whether or not he had to pinch a loaf (so much funnier in a British accent).

Finally - he had to lay a snake.

I don't even think I let him break the plane of the door on exit before I pounced, "Did it work?!"

"One time is not enough data to determine whether or not something works," was my answer.

YES!!!  With confidence I strolled into the bathroom, only to be met with the fresh scent of lemon.

Victory!

What he thinks of as too small a data set to draw a conclusion, I call 100%, baby!

Since the original "data set", poo-pourri has continued to impress.  I'm really glad that I bought the gift set, with a spray for the bathroom, a travel-size spray, and some personal cleansing cloths.  Every morning, when I get dressed there are a couple of things that I drop into my scrub pockets: lip shit balm, pens, and my stylus for my phone. Starting tomorrow, I'd going to be adding the travel-size spray to my pocket.

Want to Help?

My heart is breaking watching all of the livestock that are being flooded out and I was trying to figure out how to help.  I don't have any property, so I can't take any in.  But I do have a book for sale, and I can donate the proceeds from that book to the people who can help the livestock who are displaced.  So, all proceeds from book sales running through the end of the month will be donated to Denkai Animal Sanctuary.  This is a great way to kill two birds with one stone: you can start buying stocking stuffers AND help animals who need it.

Click the book in the sidebar to order.

So, please spread the word far and wide.  Let's help the critters we all love.

If It's Not One Thing...

...it's another.

Last year, we were all about the fires and praying for rain to put them out.

Well, the rains came.  Maybe a year late, but they're here.  You know, you can't always coerce Mother Nature to bend to your will.

I was five when the Big Thompson flood hit and to this day, I get nervous when it's been raining for too long.  Back then, Mom and Dad both disappeared to work.  Dad was a firefighter and was helping with rescue/recovery and Mom was working in the soup kitchens, keeping all of the rescuers fed.

This flood, though much more devastating to property, hasn't claimed nearly as many lives, as our warning systems have gotten better and our rainfall was spread out over days not hours.  I'll never again have faith in the "flood improvements" that will be made.  After the flood in '76, the Big Thompson canyon was improved and we were assured it would withstand another flood.

Unfortunately, the pictures say otherwise:

Highway 34, the most common way into Estes Park

Of course, the technology used to make the canyon flood-proof is over thirty years old.

Back in 1997, Fort Collins was hit with a flash flood that killed a handful of people and caught us completely unaware.  We were all okay, but the kids were very small and Ashinator texted me on Thursday, when we started flooding, to let me know she was feeling very anxious about delivering in the rain.  Maybe anxiety over flooding wasn't quite the tradition I wanted to share with the kids.

Mom and Bill were thought to be completely cut off.  The only ways in and out of Estes Park were washed away (except Trail Ridge Road) and Highway 7, the direct route to their place is no longer existent in certain places.

What used to be Highway 7 (sorry I couldn't get it to resize)

Luckily, they did find a way off the mountain (should they ever decide to leave), via the Peak to Peak Highway (Highway 72), so their guests were able to leave and catch their planes back to Germany.

As devastating as the fires were, this flood I believe to be worse.  Jay and I are mostly dry out in Ault, but here's a quick run-down of the family situation:

• Nebalee, et al are on high ground above the Big Thompson, but surrounded by flooding. The worst Nebalee has had to deal with is brown water, but since she stockpiled water before it turned brown, she's set.
• Junior and his family are on high ground east of I-25, but are pretty much the only neighborhood in his town that are not under mandatory evacuation.
• Deejo's family is high and dry.
• Jay's family is dry, but completely cut off.  There's no way in or out of the town they live in.
• Grandma Nita is dry this go 'round.  She barely missed the flooding in '97, but the flood improvements seem to be working well and keeping her dry.
• The Heathi are all doing well.  Digger and Monster live closest to the river, but they're still out of danger and Ashinator doesn't live anywhere near the flooded areas in town.

As a family, we're especially blessed in this disaster, even with Mom and Bill inaccessible.  They have food, water, and the horses.  Life is pretty good for them right now.

I just wish all of my friends have been as lucky as we have.  Unfortunately, that's not the case.  I've made a small donation to one of the local evacuation shelters, but there's definitely more need than I can help fulfill.  If you have an extra dollar or two to donate to the cause (I hate asking for donations), you can go to Northern Colorado Flood Relief.  Yesterday, I had Ashinator drop off supplies that the evac centers had specifically asked for, but by far, the best way to donate is monetarily so that the centers can purchase what they need.  Here's another place to donate: Larimer County Flood 2013 Long-Term Recovery.

The Things That Make Me Happy

I'm a bit of a Walking Dead freak.  Love, love, love the show.  Haven't read the comics, but we do own them.

When this course came up (Society, Science, Survival: Lessons from The Walking Dead) and I found out it was FREE I had to sign up.

Now, I just have to talk my bosses into letting me count it as professional development.  After all, it has public health, social sciences, math, and physics, all very important topics.

Anyone want to join me?  It's FREE and easy to sign up.  Just click here and fill out the registration form.

Three Little Piggies

On August 2nd, I got a phone call from Robs' partner telling me that the babies were on their way.  I could hear Robs in the background working on her computer, so I figured there was no reason to worry.  Robs had undergone IVF and had two eggs implanted, thinking one would take, like when they had their first.  Only, they got one heck of a surprise.  Not only did both eggs take, but one had split.  Instead of one baby, they were getting a set of identical twins and a singlet.

The triplets were at the 31-week mark, just a week shy of their goal, but Robs sounded in good spirits and was trying to finish up a project for work before they wheeled her into the OR for her C-section.

I didn't hear from Mandy the rest of the day and started to get worried.  The docs had been able to identify some issues via ultrasound with a couple of the babies and I started thinking the worst.

I finally got to talk to Mandy on Saturday, the day after the babies were born, and found out that they were all alive, but that Robs had started to bleed out during her C-section and was currently in the ICU.  I headed down to Denver to meet the babies and make sure my Robs was okay.

Since I don't have blog names for the babies, I'm going to continue to refer to them by their ultrasound names, Babies A, B, and C.

Baby A was born first, at 1:26 pm and was perfectly healthy, for being a 31-week old multiple.  She was tiny, but the biggest of the three, at 3 lb 6 oz and 16 inches.

Three weeks old, with Mommy Robs

Baby B was born immediately after her identical twin, Baby A, at 1:26 pm.  She was 3 lb 5 oz and 15 3/4". They had been watching Baby B carefully on ultrasound because her heart seemed to be shifted to the left.  Turns out, she only has one lung.  She spent 8 days on a vent and had a chest tube, but is now only on oxygen and doing well.

Three weeks old, with Mommy Robs

Baby C had it rough.  She was born at 1:27 without pulse or respirations. She was only 2 lb 6 oz and 15".  The docs resuscitated her, but basically told Robs and Mandy that she wasn't going to live through the night.  Mandy doesn't come across as deeply religious, but she is, and she had faith that Baby C was going to make it.  By the time I talked to her on Saturday, not only was Baby C alive, but she was doing well.  I got to the NICU with Mandy just as they were extubating Baby C.  No more vent!  The NICU nurse told us that sometimes the babies "just need a minute" to make the transition and that's what Baby C needed.

24 hours old with Mommy Mandy

3 weeks with Mommy Robs

After getting to meet the girls, I went to see my Robs.  It was very hard to see someone so vibrant laying in ICU, pale as a ghost.  Mandy told me Robs actually had some color compared to the day before. All I could think was "wow".  I can't imagine how scared Mandy had to have been the day before, watching her partner bleed out and being told that her baby wasn't going to live through the night.  I'm glad Mandy's best friends were there with her, and that Robs' parents were there for Robs.  I felt incredibly guilty for not leaving work when Mandy called me, but with Robs being so incredibly healthy (other than being pregnant with triplets), I figured I would just be in the way.

The last three weeks have been rough, but the girls are now doing well and the NICU nurses are doing their best to let Robs and Mandy still have their "firsts" with the girls, such as their first baths.

It's going to be amazing to watch these little ones grow up.

It's Been A Minute, Hasn't It?

I don't know when I lost control of my time.  Seems like it was just June and here it is the middle of August.  How the hell does that happen?

I owe a book review (it really was a good book and deserves a good review).  Okay, two, actually.  My bestie had triplets and my niece" falled off" of Ranger (his words, not mine).  And I finished my book, but am losing my mind trying to format it.

I swear, I'm going to get back on track, because I have the most beautiful baby girls to introduce you to and an orthopedist story that no one will believe.

Maybe tomorrow :)

What a Day!

I'm not sure if I mean that in a good way, or a bad way.

This morning, I did my thing at the Outdoor Show and felt *eh* about it until I watched the video, then I realized it wasn't as horrible as I thought it was.  So that was good.

Then I ran off to Denver to see Robs and the babies (!) - all three of them.  I tried calling Nebalee on my way to Denver, but didn't get an answer.  However, when I pulled into the hospital parking lot, I get a text from Nebalee saying she was almost to the hospital.  I was perplexed, as I don't recall telling her that Robs had had the babies, but, hell, I might have.

And then a series of confusing texts followed:

N: We are almost at the hospital.

GD: What hospital?

N: Longmont (this was confusing to me because Robs is in Denver, not Longmont.  That's when I started to get a hint that we were not talking about the same thing.)

N:  Looks like probably surgery. (Surgery?  WTF is she talking about?)

N: I'm barely hanging on.  

GD: What? (I'm totally thinking something happened to Mom - sorry Mom, but you ARE bionic and sometimes things happen to make you more bionic.)

N:  Sorry thought you called because Mom called you.  Your timing was exactly on.  (Whew, Mom wasn't hurt, but WTH happened to Bill?)

GD:  So. What the hell happened?

Turns out Asset took a dive off of Ranger this afternoon and got banged up pretty badly, resulting in a broken arm and a whole lot of skin missing from her face.  Luckily, she had a riding helmet on and Autobot had insisted that it be adjusted to fit her just before she climbed on Ranger.



No one knows what caused Ranger to jump, and it apparently wasn't a big jump, but it was enough for her to lose her balance and make her acquaintance with the ground with a little help from our friend gravity.

She's hanging in there (so is Nebalee), but it's going to be tough to keep her still for the next couple of days.  Still and Asset do not get along.

Tomorrow's my defensive pistol match.  Let's hope it's a much less exciting day.