The Post I've Been Avoiding

And I'm still just sitting here with my fingers hovering over the keyboard...

Okay, the grandma thing.

Yeah.  Not ready for it.

Digger moved home from Wyoming a few weeks ago to find a job, get enrolled in school, and find an apartment for him and Cowgirl.  He had a sound plan.  RCC and I were okay with it.

A week after he moved home, Cowgirl told him he was going to be a daddy.  Scared the bejeezus out of me.  He's my first born (read: my baby).  Now, I know they already had long-term plans, but this really speeds things up. 

Hell, I was just getting used to the idea that any girl he dated could potentially be a DIL.  I was 18 when I got married, and I was thanking my lucky stars that at 19, he wasn't looking like he was going to follow in my footsteps.

I'm apparently very old fashioned in my thinking.  I was worried about a DIL, not grandchildren.  Now I'm getting both - and at a much younger age than I had anticipated.  I had hoped that my kids would wait until they were older to get married and have children of their own.  Afterall, didn't they remember how hard it was when they were growing up?

There is something to be said about having kids young, I'll agree with that.  I mean, I had three by the time I was 23.  My body bounced back after each pregnancy and I had the energy to chase after three kids and work three jobs.  But the three jobs were the problem - who wants to do that when they've got little 'uns at home?  I had no choice - I was married to an alcoholic who drank more than I made.  I did college at the same time - took six years to get my bachelor degree.  Who would choose to do that?

Being a young parent is hard, but it does have its benefits - I'll never deny that.

But there's something to be said about waiting, too.  Being settled in a career, having a reliable income.  Figuring out who you are as a person.  All bonuses.

I never expected my kids to wait until their 30s to have kids of their own, but I had hoped they'd wait until they were at least 25 so they'd have time to do "kid" things - college (the "traditional" way), travel, lousy jobs.

On one hand, I'm cautiously optimistic about being a grandma.  On the other hand, though, my heart's breaking for Digger and Cowgirl.  They're excited and they both have good heads on their shoulders, but it's going to be a long hard road.  I know that it's pessimistic of me, but our life didn't start coming together until just three years ago - I had hoped my kids would have an easier road than that.

RCC, however, is *thrilled*.  He's excited about being a grandpa and is already planning on spoiling the baby rotten.  He's a good balance to my consternation.  It's no wonder I love that man.