Here's a quick sampling of the thoughts that run through my brain at meetings:
- Good Lord, if that woman doesn't shut the hell up, I'm going to swallow a bullet.
- Oh. hell. no. I'm not going to swallow a bullet, but I just may kill her with it instead.
- Will my co-workers help me post bail if I go up for homicide?
- Seriously, is there an abundance of stupid today?
- That's it. I'm going to fucking kill her. Who gives a damn if my co-workers won't pitch in for bail?
- Will she ever shut that big mouth?
- Well...I see someone is fond of flaunting an uneducated opinion.
- Jee-sus Christ if he would let someone else talk, he might learn something.
- Didn't the mediator just clarify that point three times? Oh, that's right, she couldn't hear the clarification because she was flapping her gums.
- Can I dig my eyeballs out with this pen?
- No, I'm going to stab this pen in my ears instead, then I don't have to hear that voice.
- I wonder if I could hire that guy who came to enroll with the 20 year-old felony for throwing Molotov cocktails to kill all these people who are pissing. me. the. fuck. off.
I put a stop to it before it went to blows and then instantly regretted it.
It might have been a fun diversion.