I Got Me Some New Hooters

No, really.

I did.

And I love them.

You see, in just the last few months, a family of finches has moved into the tree that provides shade  for our stairway.  Who knew that those little three ounce birds could shit sooooooooooo much.  Our stairs and handrail are coated in the nasty stuff.

I feel like our stairs look like this...

From Google Images

But they really looked more like this...

From Google Images

And that's plenty gross.

And I really hate birds.  I loathe them.  They are nasty, mite-infested flying rats.  I get the heebie-jeebies from them (I got your back here, Crazy Texas Mommy) and would have shot them out of the tree except for one teeny, tiny little thing.  The police station is less than a block from our apartment and they would have frowned upon me shooting the birds in town.  Besides, I've already been to the pokey once and I ain't goin' back!

So, Jay and I did the next best thing.  We went and bought a pair of plastic hooters.

Not from Google Images, from my own camera.

The little birdies were sitting on their shitting branch having a de-lightful little conversation with each other while taking turns soiling our stairs when Jay took the first owl out.  Within seconds, their little conversation ended and they were all standing at attention sassing the owl, trying to decide if it was worth their lives to stay on their toilets or just move on.

By the time we got home that evening, they'd chosen to move on.  To another branch, but at least it's not over our stairs any more.  We put the second owl out that night and we haven't seen them since.

Yessirreee, I love my new hooters.

Fleeting Glimpses

Finally, same place, same time.

When Jay and I started dating, we realized that we had been in the same place at the same time quite frequently throughout our adult lives.

Northern Colorado isn't that big, I get it.  But still...we're talking pretty much all of our adult lives, we've been just missing each other.

For instance, Reba hasn't played in this area often.  In the early 90's, she played Big Mac in Denver (which doesn't even exist any more).  We were both there.

Stinktown Stampede concerts, both there.

CFD concerts, both there.

Recently - as in two days ago - we were talking and realized that he and his friend participated in a Poker Run that I worked for a couple of years.  Since I was working one of the stops, I clearly had to have interacted with him and his friend.

Okay, okay, those aren't such crazy coincidences. We lived in the same area, of course it was going to happen. That's not so outstanding.

However, there is Italy.

Yes, Italy.

We were both there the same year, the same two weeks.  And get this...essentially the same route, just backward.  My friends and I started in Rome and ended in Venice.  Jay and his family started in Venice and ended in Rome.

Got goosebumps yet?

I wonder how it is we've shared essentially the same space in time for most of our adult lives, but didn't meet?  Took a temper tantrum five years ago for us to finally meet.

Presents!

I love coming home to presents :)

Even if I know they are coming and I'm the one who paid for them.  None of that matters.  Getting packages is always happy, happy, happy.

I'm not a prepper by any means, but am looking to build some food reserves (I blew my opportunity to build ammo reserves).  Living in a small town without a grocery store (the one we had in town closed about a month after we moved in) can be a pain in the butt sometimes, so if I can always have staples on hand, I'm ahead of the game.

Last year at a gun show, I sampled some food from Thrive and really loved it. I ordered a few things last fall and liked it.  I might have more than liked the convenience of the freeze dried ground beef.  Holy easy to use!  I didn't even have to dirty a pan to fry it up.

With my phlebotomy class money this month, I ordered the Thrive Smart Start pack, not quite knowing what to expect.  I figured we'd get a few #10 cans of something or other.  When I opened up my box, I was super excited to find this:

17 pantry cans and 4 Thrive Express packets.

I forgot to put the cookbook in the picture, but the package also came with a cookbook to demonstrate how to use all of the components in the package.

I don't even know where to start with all of this.  I'm just so excited to have it here and now can't wait until next month.

Has anyone else tried any freeze dried foods?  Mountain House?  Wise Food Supply?  Thrive?  What have your experiences been?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling the need for some brownies :)

The Hazards of Being a Good Girl

From Google images

I was a good girl all through high school. I mean GOOD. Church (or church activity) three times a week, always home by curfew, GOOOOOOOOOOD girl.

My kids? Not so much.

I'd come home from work some nights and there would be this awful stink in the house and I'd get pissed off and ask the kids what they burned. And they'd look at me, so innocently, and say, "Mom, we just boiled stuff over on the stove".

And then I'd go on a tangent about if they weren't so fucking sloppy, the stove wouldn't always smoke and burn, and how 'bout if they would just clean it once in a while, why was it always my job? Etc, etc.

From Google images

Enter Jay. We start dating, get engaged, come home one night. He walks in the house, takes a sniff and says, "Who's been smoking pot in the house?"

Dafuq?

THAT'S what that is?

D'Oh.

Yup. My kids smoking pot in my house for years apparently and getting away with it because their mom's an idiot.

Green Squiggly Line

We all know that in Word, the red squiggly line means you spelled something wrong.

The green squiggly line means there's a grammatical error.

A cool bonus about the green squiggly line is that if there is an incorrect word used, it typically leads to a grammatical error, which means the green squiggly line will appear.  Cool, huh?

Authors should take note.

Their editors should take note.

I told you that so I can tell you this...

Authors - don't use your friends/family as editors.  Stop being cheap and hire a proper editor.  One who can spell AND who knows the rules of grammar AND who knows what homophones are.

I started reading a book yesterday that I'm enjoying. However, the author doesn't know the difference between site (location) and sight (to see).  Nor does she know the difference between roll (the action) and role (a part played by a performer).  Apparently, neither does her editor.

To recap:

• site = place/location
• sight = to see
• roll = an action (or a very yummy hunk of bread)
• role = a part played by a performer or a character

When I was bitching whining about this to my parents, my mom came up with the homophones that make her homicidal:

• rein = steering device for equines
• rain = the wet stuff that falls from the sky
• mane = the long neck hair on equines
• main = chief or primary

At least I come by my word snobbery honestly.

Which words are used incorrectly that make you twitchy?

Active Shooter

Do you know what to do in an Active Shooter incident?

FEMA has developed an Active Shooter Training that is free.  It is directed at workplace violence, but the lessons can be applied to any Active Shooter incident, be it the mall, church, or school.

I suggest you clear 45 minutes of a day this week and take the training.  It's painless and will hopefully provide you with a plan should the need arise.  It's always better to have a plan than to be caught completely unawares.

January Kara's Way Box

I'm late in posting this; I wanted, at the very least, to get this up before January ended.  That didn't happen, so I'm going with being happy with posting it during the week that January ended.

January's box included:

• Burt's Bees Facial Cleaning Towlettes sample size ($3 for 10) - As a general rule, I don't use a whole lot to clean my face with, other than clear water.  I began using the Grits and Honey scrub from the December box and really liked that, but I ran out and have been too cheap to replace it, so I'm looking forward to trying this.  And it's not as crazy expensive as some items.
• Crystal Rock Deoderant Stick full-sized ($2.29/1.5 oz) - I'm wary of trying this.  As a teenager, I really struggled with body odor.  Puberty was not nice to me and it took me a long time to find a deoderant that worked, so I'm somewhat afraid to try this.  It might work magically, but it might not.  I've decided I'll try it on days when I'm not working so if I end up all stinky, the only person who gets tortured by the stench is me.
• Sante Cosmetics Eyeshadow Stick in Coffee full-sized ($15) - By far, the most expensive eye shadow I've ever owned.  Ashinator, who also received a Kara's Way box, *loves* this product.  Since I don't usually wear make-up, I was a bit intimidated by it.  My only experience with eye shadow is the stuff that you use a brush or applicator with, this whole eye shadow in crayon form is new to me, but I'm going to learn to use it, I swear.
• Alba Botanica Terra Gloss in Garnet full-sized ($5.95) - This is not the most expensive lip gloss I own, but I really like it.  It's just a little shimmery and red and pretty.
• Merry Hempsters Vegan Lip Balm in Peppermint full-sized ($2.99) - I love this stuff! It is so dry in Colorado and I tend to not drink enough water, so my lips always feel chapped.  Because of that, I always have lip balm in my pocket.  Before finding this, my favorite lip balm was Burt's Bees.  However, since I tried this, I find that I pick this one up more often than my Burt's Bees stuff.
• Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay sample size ($7.50/1 lb) - I haven't tried this yet, but I'm excited to.  I just thought that would be better left for a day when Jay's not home to scare off.
• Bonus Item: Organi India Tulsi Tea - I don't drink tea, but my brother and SIL do, so this will be given to them. I'm sure they'll love it.

This was a great box, with three full-sized items, so I definitely think that I got my $15 worth out of it.  It is simply, but attractively packed, though it lacks the plantable hang-tag that so many people have raved about.  Since I've never received a box with the hang-tag, I can't say that I miss it, but it sounded like an amazing little perk.

Ashinator received a box as well - I bought her two months for her birthday - and she loved everything in her box, with the exception of the vegan toothpaste.  I didn't receive a box with toothpaste, so it appears that different boxes were sent out, some with the crystal rock deoderant and some with the toothpase.  I like that, since both of us receive a box, it gives us some flexibility in trading items.

Kara's Way also has great customer service.  Ashinator moved at the end of December and I emailed the new address to Kara's Way.  Within a day, I received a response.  Unfortunately, her box still got shipped to her old address.  As soon as I got the shipping email with her old address, I emailed them and they immediately remedied the problem, sending out her replacement box that day.

I have one more month of my subscription and I think I'm going to continue it.  It's a ton of fun to get a surprise in the mail every month.  So much fun, that I found a craft sample box subscription that I'm going to get for Autobot's birthday in March.