Monday, March 4, 2013

I Got Me Some New Hooters

No, really.

I did.

And I love them.

You see, in just the last few months, a family of finches has moved into the tree that provides shade  for our stairway.  Who knew that those little three ounce birds could shit sooooooooooo much.  Our stairs and handrail are coated in the nasty stuff.

I feel like our stairs look like this...

From Google Images
But they really looked more like this...

From Google Images
And that's plenty gross.

And I really hate birds.  I loathe them.  They are nasty, mite-infested flying rats.  I get the heebie-jeebies from them (I got your back here, Crazy Texas Mommy) and would have shot them out of the tree except for one teeny, tiny little thing.  The police station is less than a block from our apartment and they would have frowned upon me shooting the birds in town.  Besides, I've already been to the pokey once and I ain't goin' back!

So, Jay and I did the next best thing.  We went and bought a pair of plastic hooters.

Not from Google Images, from my own camera.
The little birdies were sitting on their shitting branch having a de-lightful little conversation with each other while taking turns soiling our stairs when Jay took the first owl out.  Within seconds, their little conversation ended and they were all standing at attention sassing the owl, trying to decide if it was worth their lives to stay on their toilets or just move on.

By the time we got home that evening, they'd chosen to move on.  To another branch, but at least it's not over our stairs any more.  We put the second owl out that night and we haven't seen them since.

Yessirreee, I love my new hooters.


Allenspark Lodge said...

I'd say something about a "pair" of "plastic" "hooters", but it would be too easy.

Give me a little time.


Leiah said...

Ah, you remembered her fear of birds. I may or may not have teared up while reading that. She on the other had will probably create some crocheted monument in your honor.

Rachel said...

Well, sounds like ultimately this backfired... though I'm glad you didn't try anything more extreme and land yourself back in the pokey, like you said!