I routinely do four miles on the eliptical machine, walking on the treadmill, or on my favorite Precor machine, but I do. not. run. Even the two 5Ks that RCC and I have done couldn't really be called "running". We'd walk quickly for a bit, then run for a bit, back and forth, but I can't say I've done any real running since high school.
When I talk to a runner, I hear all about how they just get into the rhythm of running and let their mind go and a bunch of zen-like crap. It doesn't work for me. I can't get to that place in my mind. I've tried. Instead of going to that happy place in my mind, this is what it's like:
"God I hate this running shit. Who the hell ever invented it? I've been running forever...wait, what the hell do you mean I've only been running for ten seconds? WTF? Certainly the timer on this fucking thing is broken. Great, just my luck to get a machine with a broken timer. Damn I hate running. My foot is cramping. Ouchouchouch. What the hell is that jabbing me? Breathe, damn it breathe. Great, is it time to stop yet? I had to have made my one minute interval by now. Shit! I still have thirty seconds to go. Really? Damn it, I'm going to complain to the managers about this broken timer. Comeonecomeoncomeon...twenty-eight...twenty-seven...twenty-six...twenty-five...fuck it. Done."And that's what it's like every. single. time. I've tried running while watching the TV, I've tried running while listening to music. Even El Poquito Diablo couldn't get me to run much without worrying that I might kill him in his sleep. Doesn't matter that I don't know where he lives, I'd find him if I needed to.
But now, now I have to run. Not even very fast. Only two miles in 22 minutes. Two eleven minute miles. I've tried telling myself that I can do anything for twenty-two minutes. Yeah, right.
I just don't know how runners do it. Nebalee has offered to run with me, to get me to where I need to be. She's a brave girl, 'cause running makes me rather homicidal.
The push-ups and sit-ups for this new direction in my life? All day long. I have no problem working through everything required strength-wise. In fact, I could pass the strength requirements today. It's this running crap that's killing me.
Any ideas? I'm open to suggestions from any of you runners.