I Get Angry, Sometimes

When I'm scrolling through my FB memories and I see something pop up about having to go workout, or starting a new diet, or trying to eat healthier, I get angry. I've been fighting my weight since my early 30s. I know there are people who have been fighting their weight their entire lives, and I'm thankful I'm not one of them. But I still get angry at how pervasive diet culture is. 

Jay and I went to an indoor garage sale last week, and we found these pamphlets from the late 1950s. No wonder so many people have disordered eating, this bullshit has been ingrained in our society for 75 years!

I finally was able to lose about 45# with noom, but between Mom and Bill's accident and fucking menopause, I gained 35# back. I learned a ton from noom, and believe that I've broken the diet culture mentality for myself. I no longer restrict myself, I eat what I want in moderation, I've lost my all-or-nothing thinking, and thought distortions are a thing of the past. Yes, I continued to count calories in my noom app, and was averaging between 1,300-1,400 a day. So how the hell did I gain back so much weight? My body betrayed me, that's how. I felt like crap, and couldn't even play circus without extreme frustration. 

I finally broke down and begged my doctor to start me on a GLP-1. I was on it six months before my insurance ran out, and lost 18#. I had some side effects, that's for sure. Pooping? Nah, fam, my colon will just hold onto that forever now. No appetite? Easy to lose weight when the thought of food makes you nauseated. Accidentally eat too much? Kill me now. I learned to work with it, and was fairly successful, losing half of what I'd gained back.

I'd heard about microdosing GLP-1s here and there, and when talking to a friend, she mentioned that she's still on noom and that they offer GLP-1s. Back to noom I went, and began microdosing. The weight loss is much, much slower, but the educational component of noom is what I love. Unlike what happens with a lot of people who are just prescribed a GLP-1 for weight loss and accept that they'll have to live with the side effects (like I did), the daily lessons help solidify the changes I've already made. I anticipate being able to transition off of the meds in the next few months. Time will tell whether or not my body will continue to betray me, but I'm hopeful. 

And, I feel pretty damn good that I've stepped away from all of the diet culture negativity: restriction, all-or-nothing thinking, etc. I'm taking the meds to lose the weight, because I was feeling like crap and unable to live the way I wanted to, once I gained the weight back.

How I feel inside is beginning to align with how I look outside, and that's been my big picture since I started noom in 2020.

Also, this is not an advertisement. It's just my experience. 

Noom Update

 You know, I think I'm getting the hang of this Noom thing. Really.

I started Noom on October 13, and am currently down 21.2#. As you know, from my whining in my first Noom post, the first few days were hard. But after that, it got easier and easier. There are days when I'm incredibly frustrated with the scale, but overall this has been fairly easy. 21.2 pounds in 15.5 weeks isn't a lot - it's just over a pound a week lost. 

My goal with Noom has always been to "make my outsides match my insides", meaning that while I felt fit and strong, I hated the way I looked. My weight was pretty steady all through the spring and summer, and I felt so fit with all of the walking and such I was doing. But I hated the way I looked in pictures.

August, 2020

Only because it was so muddy and slick that LE and I were laughing about it did I allow that full body picture of me to be taken. My insides (how I felt) definitely did not match my outside (how I looked).

And to be honest, the two don't match up yet, but they're getting there. This is a picture from a week ago, while I was on a road trip with the Shooting Hubby to go take a gun fighting class. I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at the picture.

Even with a bulky hoodie on, I look much better than I did in August. I'm even stronger now than I was then and am happy with my progress. I still have 25# to go, so probably another four months, but that's okay. As long as my insides and outside continue to line up, I'm good.

One Last Try

Years ago, I gave up trying to lose weight. Nothing seemed to work, and each time I'd lose then gain back what I lost and then some. 

I had my thyroid checked and asked my doctor to up my meds, since my numbers were creeping up. They were still in the normal zone, but my thyroid medication hadn't been adjusted in a few years. I thought I might lose a pound or two that way, but wasn't really surprised when I didn't.

I also thought I might lose a pound or two with all of the walking I was doing, but that hadn't happened, so I resigned myself to being fit/fat. I certainly don't look like I'm fit enough to do a 5k and 10k each month, but, by God, I get out there and do them. I feel so much better since I started walking. 

I had been seeing the ads for noom for a long time, but mostly blew them off. I mean, I've tried diet after diet and end up heavier than I was before. Then someone very near and dear to my heart signed up, so I followed suit the next day.

I'm not going to lie, the first few days were hard. They call it psychology. I call it a mind fuck. It's actually cognitive behavior therapy, and it seems to be working.

Food is separated into three different categories: green, yellow, and red based on caloric density. Now, I've counted calories before - who on a diet hasn't? But I've never really given any thought to caloric density. Using one of their examples, I can choose to eat 60 calories in fresh grapes, or 60 calories in raisins. The calories are the same, but because the raisins are more calorically dense, it takes more to feel full than 60 calories of grapes. You end up eating far more raisins than grapes to get the same feeling of satiety, which means you end up ingesting a ton more calories. 

Each day, there are tasks to complete in the noom app, in addition to logging every bite of food. I've done food journaling before, and hated it. I never thought that would change. Now, though, it's become something of a game to see how many greens I can eat compared to yellows and reds. Like I said, nothing is off-limits, but red category foods are ones that should be eaten with care. The bulk of the my daily calories should be greens and yellows, with a few reds. Reds are important: they're things like dried fruits, nuts, milk/cheese, but should not be the majority of the day's calories. I sometimes fail spectacularly at that.

Poor Nebalee had to listen to me whine about two days in about how calorie-restrictive noom was. It's not really that restrictive, I just had to learn to use my calorie budget wisely. In every other diet I've ever been on, especially the calorie-restrictive ones, there were foods that were forbidden. Part of the mind fuck is that I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that nothing was forbidden. I thought I'd have to give up my daily Coke and never have it again. But since I can have it if I want it, it was easy for me to stop drinking it altogether. Coke is a big ole red item and eats up most of my red calorie budget, so once I realized that, it was gone. Saturday was a "reward yourself" day, so I drank the last Coke in the fridge. I hadn't had a Coke in nine days, so I thought it would be a great reward. I loved every damn drop, but Sunday felt a craving for sugar that was hard to beat back. I'm blaming my reward Coke for that. It is comforting, though, that I can have one any time I want, that it's not off-limits.

Food journaling is only one of the daily tasks required. There are short articles to read, goals to set, and quizzes to take. It takes approximately ten minutes out of my day to complete all of the tasks in the app. Considering the amount of time I spend scrolling through FB, I was sure I could cut ten minutes from there to spend on the noom app. 

Also, each person is assigned a goal coach that checks in with them once a week. The one task that I absolutely dreaded and almost refused to do is the daily weigh-in. Fuck, I hate the scale. I cannot express how much I did not want to step on the scale, much less every day. Luckily, Jay and I left for vacation the day after I signed up for noom, and I refused to pack the scale with us. I let my goal coach know that I wouldn't be doing my daily weigh-ins while we were on our road trip. 

After the first couple of days on noom, I started to get the hang of it. Jay and I had made a goal to walk at least 1.5 miles every day while we were on the road. After all, we were headed to three different National Parks, at least there would be some beautiful places to walk. There were a couple of long driving days that we didn't quite make our 1.5 miles, but we made up for it on other days. In seven days, we walked a total of 15.87 miles, an average of 2.26 miles/day.

I began to look forward to stepping on the scale when we got home: I'd started to get a handle on my calorie budget and we'd been walking a lot. Part of me was scared, what if I stepped on the scale and nothing happened? My doc had adjusted my thyroid meds and it resulted in zero weight loss. I'd started walking pretty religiously, including virtual races each month, and that resulted in zero weight loss. I had made peace with the fact that I was going to be fit/fat. But now? I finally had hope that the scale was going to move.

In the less than two weeks I've been on noom, I'm down 9.2 pounds. I don't expect it to continue at that rate; I believe my plan has me on track to lose seven pounds a month until March, which will take me to my goal weight. They even warn you that the scale is going to be variable. Some days I'll be down, some days I'll be up. Them acknowledging that right up front, and reassuring me that it's perfectly normal, has done a lot to ease my diet and scale anxiety. Despite the scale moving in the right direction, my clothes aren't yet fitting differently, but that will come with time. (**That time came today, Monday, when I weighed in. According to the scale, I'm up a pound. Knowing that it's a normal fluctuation is helpful, but I won't lie, it's still kind of disheartening.)

Two weeks in, I know this is going to work, so then my next big question is: can I maintain it? Noom isn't a diet that you pay to be on for the rest of your life; it's training you to work within your calorie budget. I hope that in the next six months I'm able to absorb all of their "psychology" so I don't end up gaining back every pound.

Speaking of cost, one of the things that kept me from signing up in the first place is that there's no set fee scale for the program. It felt like looking at a menu with no prices listed - I just knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. It turns out, for me, it's less than a gym membership. The hard part, if you're on a budget, is that you have to pay for your entire program upfront, rather than monthly. I paid about $145 for my six month program, which works out to be about $24/month. 

Just A Little Rant

Once Upon A Time, some people pissed GunDiva off ...

At the beginning of the year, I posted about the 28 day FAST Metabolism Diet.  Y'all know I *hate* numbers, right?  So I'm still refusing to engage with them.  After our first round with the diet and the numbers (I did lose some inches, BTW), I decided I still hated the numbers and if I was going to repeat the 28 days I was going to do it because it is good for me, not because of some numbers on a scale.

People at work have noticed my drastic change in diet - I haven't tried to hide it - and I'm a lot better about not joining in on the impromptu "let's go to lunch" stuff. 

One of my well-meaning, but probably orthorexic, colleagues told me a few weeks ago, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."  I call bullshit.  I've been skinny.  You know what it feels like?  Guilt.  It feels like fucking guilt.  Every missed work out, every bite of "forbidden" food equals Guilt.  That is no way to live a life.

I've been skinny and I've been fat, and I'll tell you what: I'm much happier living my life now than when I was skinny.  Did I look better on the outside?  Yep.  Did I like the way I looked in pictures?  Yep.  Was it worth it?  Even just a couple of years ago when I was working out like a beast with The Little Bastard?  Maybe, at the time I thought it was worth it.  Now?  No way. 

Just last week, as I was shoveling down my salad, I mentioned that I was being really good with my diet because I had a cheat day planned.  A different co-worker piped up and said, "how on earth to plan on losing any weight if you schedule cheat days?".

Um, excuse me, but just because I'm fat, do NOT assume that I'm trying to lose weight.  I'm eating cleaner because it makes me feel better.  I could not give a flying fuck what the scale says.  I lived my life by the scale for far too long and I'm not going to chain myself to it any longer.

And yet another co-worker, when he noticed me eating my salad and drinking my ONE Coke for the day, told me he'd rather see me eating the greasy cheeseburger and fries that my other co-workers were eating instead of drinking that "poison".  The one thing I refuse to give up, and I've said it for years, is my Coke.  It's not going to happen so people need to back the fuck off about it.  I have very few vices, other than my foul mouth and my love for Coke.  I don't smoke, rarely drink, and don't do drugs. Look, dude, I know you're a personal trainer, but you're not *my* personal trainer and unless I'm getting drunk or shooting up at work, what I put into my body is none of your business. 

What I would really love is for the people at work to stop assuming I'm eating healthier to lose weight.  And I really wish they'd keep their damned opinions and comments to themselves.  God forbid I do something like work out - I can only imagine the "help" I'd get then.  I do plan on being more active as the weather continues to warm up, though I won't call it "working out".  My whole goal is to be healthy enough to do what I want to do.  If I want to go for a hike, by God I'm going to go for a hike.  If I want to take Skeeter for a walk, I'm going to take Skeeter for a walk.  But I don't need my armchair quarterback co-workers being "helpful".  I need them to shut the fuck up and mind their own business.

The End.

Back to the Damn Numbers

Last week, I was ending my year with no numbers.  I loved the lack of stress associated with not dwelling on numbers.  However, there were a couple of numbers my doctor was worried about.  Namely, my liver function and my hemoglobin A1c.  I did my six-week re-draw of my liver function and it's all good.  We have no idea why it was so out-of-whack, but it was at that one moment in time.  Now, it's well within the normal ranges (at the moment in time that it was drawn).

My hemoglobin A1c is high normal, but I'm an obese, middle-aged, half-Mexican female, which greatly increases my risk of diabetes.  Blah.  The one surefire way to lower my A1c is to change the way I eat.  Hence the fucking numbers game again.

Jay and I started the FAST Metabolism Diet last week.  I was super excited to do it - the recipes all sounded yummy and there was the promise of a lot of loss very quickly as our metabolism got sorted out again.  It started out pretty well.  We both had low-grade headaches for days as our body adjusted to no sugar, no caffeine, no anything good.  We gutted through.

The brown rice recipe at the end of day two made me sick.  The smell of it nauseated me and it was all I could do to get some of it down.  When I make brown rice, I make it with water, rice, some salt and that's it.  Her recipe called for garlic, onion, celery, veggie stock, carrots, and oh yeah, some brown rice.  Her proportions on the recipe were wrong, so we ended up with brown rice soup. (1/2 c brown rice to 4 c veggie broth?  Even my non-chef ass knew that was cattywompus.)  The chicken and broccoli that was supposed to go with the "brown rice" was excellent, but I didn't get my serving of grain down that day because I literally could not stomach it.

Phase 2, which is Wed/Thurs and primarily lean proteins, no fruits/grains, was hard for me to get through.  We had received an amazing fruit basket for Christmas and we had piles of fruit just begging to be eaten.  Thursday was a day we had to go into town and our "eat every three hours" wasn't going to work unless we stopped to eat or brown bagged a lot of stuff.  We "cheated" and went to Qdoba - we left off all the "bad stuff" and had the food on our approved list.  Mostly.  We did not opt for a naked burrito, so we broke the rules by having a tortilla (gluten is verboten on this diet) and brown rice (also verboten during this phase of the diet).  By Thursday, we both still had headaches and had a fuck it all attitude.  Amazingly, after we ate food that our bodies were used to, our headaches went away.

It was in Phase 2 that we started altering the recipes to fit us better.  One night we had green chili rubbed steak with asparagus.  Loved it.  The next night, we had cajun chicken with asparagus.  Both had "approved" ingredients and both were foods our body could handle.

Phase 3 is the least restrictive of the diet and we have done okay with that.  We can eat all the fruit, veggies, grains, protein we want.  Since we eat 35 meals per week on this plan, we had a cheat night last night at the hockey game and went all out.  We had nachos and fresh donuts and a soda each.  Jay had a chili dog (I stole a bite of it - to die for).  We figured one out of thirty-five wasn't too bad.

I woke up feeling like a million bucks this morning. Jay did not.  He had acid reflux really bad in the middle of the night and his gut was not happy at all.  His gut flora has already adapted to the new diet, while mine has been slower to adapt.

I cannot express to you how much I hate, hate, hate living my life in three-hour increments.  The biggest complaint in all of the reviews I read of this diet was the cost involved.  I absolutely agree.  We've spent a lot of money on foods that we normally don't eat, so it's like restocking the pantry all over again.  The recipes provided sound amazing, but the spice combinations are just too much.  My stomach can't handle them.

I was absolutely ready to throw this diet out the window, but then we did our measurements today.  We took initial measurements at: neck, R arm, waist, hips, R thigh, and R calf.  Today, we repeated them and we've both lost some combined inches.  We've lost just enough to do this torture again for one more week.

We are going to adapt the recipes to our tastes and keep some gluten- and dairy-containing foods in our diet because we don't want to alter our gut flora as drastically as this diet would do.  Just one or two meals out of our thirty-five, we'll feed our happy bacteria food instead of going on probios.

If I were to rate this diet, right now it would be a three-star diet.  We have seen some improvement, but the financial and emotional cost is barely worth it.

The worst part is I'm back to the fucking numbers and the stress associated with them.

The Year of No Numbers

At the beginning of 2014, I decided that I wasn't going to pay any attention to numbers, especially numbers concerned with my weight/health.  For the past few years, my life has revolved around calories, reps, and pounds and I was over it.  I decided that I wasn't going to do a damn thing other than live my life - as long as I was healthy enough to do what I wanted to do - I wasn't going to give numbers a second thought.  I even gave away my BodyBugg, so I wasn't tied to calories burned/steps taken/etc.

I walked a 5K because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to.  Nebalee walked with me, but the thought of "no numbers" about made her crazy.  I didn't care about my time, as long as I finished.

I spent a few weeks doing Les Mills' Body Pump with a friend of mine.  Again, because I wanted to.  It made me feel good to complete the workout.  Then summer came and I got Skeeter.  My exercise became working with her.  Ten minutes here and there.

Stacking hay - talk about functional fitness - you can't get that kind of workout in a gym. 

I ate and drank what I wanted, when I wanted.  You know what I found?  I can no longer tolerate greasy burgers.  5 Guys used to be my favorite burger joint on the planet.  I can't even get one down now without feeling sick.  I go for days without a Coke, and those of you who know me, know I refuse to give up my Coke.  It's pretty amazing when you feel like nothing is off-limits, how easy it is to "choose wisely".

It's been a surprisingly peaceful year, not worrying about how many calories I'm stuffing in my face or stressing out about how much weight I've lost (or not).  As the year ends, I'm down about four pounds over the beginning of the year (I know this because the doctor still weighs me).

Mentally, I'm much more relaxed.

Physically, I'm kind of a mess.  My liver enzymes are out of whack, my LDL is elevated, and I'm tired of being a cream puff.  There has to be some sort of middle ground.

2015 is all about finding the middle ground.

The fact is I do need to lose weight and I do need to engage in exercise (other than just playing with the horses), but is there a way to do it without turning into a calorie-counting bitch?  Without all of the guilt that goes along with knowing I shouldn't eat this and I should do that?

My doctor recommended The Fast Metabolism Diet.  I trust my doctor implicitly; I used to be her medical assistant, so we've built a stronger-than-usual patient/doctor relationship. She believes in the diet and uses it herself for weight maintenance, so I felt good about her recommendation.

I took the time to read the book, and what I read has me excited to give it a go.  It's all about "re-setting" your metabolism.  It explains why calories in/calories out doesn't work for everyone.  I've lost and gained weight a lot since my thirties and my metabolism doesn't have a clue what to do, so it stores everything as fat.  So much of what is in the book makes sense that I wonder why I never figured it out for myself.

Jay and I are going to start the "diet" tomorrow.  I hate to call it a diet considering there is so much food involved, and it's all good, "real" food.  I'll have to re-join the numbers game for a bit (no calorie counting, though!), just the measuring tape once a week to see progress and maybe an occasional scale, but I'm not going to focus on the numbers.  I've had a year of no numbers training under my belt, I think I can ignore them as needed.

Here's an example of what our first week of the "diet" will look like:

Monday
Morning snack: watermelon slices with lime and chili powder
Breakfast: steel-cut oatmeal with berries
Lunch: chicken, apple, and spinach salad
Afternoon snack: veggies and dip
Dinner: pork tenderloin with broccoli and pineapple

Tuesday
Morning snack: fruit (probably pomegranate - yum)
Breakfast: steel-cut oatmeal with berries
Lunch: turkey, bean, and kale soup
Afternoon snack: veggies and dip (or more fruit)
Dinner: Chicken and broccoli bowl

Wednesday
Morning snack: jicama with lime and chili powder
Breakfast: Spanish egg white scramble
Lunch: steak and spinach salad
Afternoon snack: deli meat wrap
Dinner: baked cinnamon-mustard chicken and lemon garlic spinach

Thursday
Morning snack: jicama with lime and chili powder
Breakfast: turkey bacon with celery (sounds weird, I know, but I'm willing to try it)
Lunch: steak and asparagus wrap
Afternoon snack: deli meat wrap
Dinner: southwestern beef and cabbage soup

Friday
Morning snack: berry smoothie
Breakfast: berry nutty oatmeal
Lunch: 3 egg salad
Afternoon snack: raw nuts
Dinner: avocado chili

Saturday
Morning snack: berry smoothie
Breakfast: B&B toast
Lunch: avocado/turkey lettuce wrap
Afternoon snack: raw nuts
Dinner: sesame chicken stir-fry

Sunday
Morning snack: berries
Breakfast: B&B toast
Lunch: lentil stew
Afternoon snack: raw nuts
Dinner: Rosemary pork roast with sweet potato

Apparently, we have to eat within 30 minutes of waking, which is why our morning snack and breakfast are flipped.  We get up, feed the horses, get ready for work and leave all in a 30 minute time-frame, so there's no way we'd make breakfast.  Snack first, breakfast at work.  The other major key (besides not eating anything processed) is to eat every three to four hours as long as you're awake to keep your metabolism cranking along.

There are things that we "can't" eat, but it's only for 28 days.  You can do pretty much anything for 28 days, right?

My Weight Loss Plan

Well, it isn't really a weight loss plan, not one that I'd recommend anyway.

You see, I've had a lot of dental work done since August.  I started with not one, but two, root canals that went bad and got abcessed.  My face was swollen.

I had the two offending teeth removed.  My face was swollen.

I had some work done on a molar last week.  My dentist inadvertently ruptured a blood vessel in my cheek.  Guess what?  My face is still swollen (and black and blue, looks like Jay belted me).

I've still got a fair bit of dental work to go, so my face will continue to be swollen.

My weight loss plan? (I know, you were trying to figure out where I was going with the swelling thing.)

Wait for all of the swelling to go away!  I'll look like I've dropped ten pounds and won't have had to do a damn thing.  Okay, okay, it's more of an illusion, but still...

What do you think?  Brilliant, I know!

From Google Images

I Don't Know How You Runners Do It

There are some changes a'coming in my life (if everything goes according to plan), but those changes are going to require me to do more than just show up at the gym and hop on the elliptical machine or the rowing machine to get my cardio in.  I'm going to have to actually run.  R-U-N.  I hate running.  That's why I own guns, so I don't have to run. But, if this good thing happens (yes, I'm being vague, but it's still very up in the air) I'm going to be required to do the thing I hate almost as much as hair.

I routinely do four miles on the eliptical machine, walking on the treadmill, or on my favorite Precor machine, but I do. not. run.  Even the two 5Ks that RCC and I have done couldn't really be called "running".  We'd walk quickly for a bit, then run for a bit, back and forth, but I can't say I've done any real running since high school.

When I talk to a runner, I hear all about how they just get into the rhythm of running and let their mind go and a bunch of zen-like crap.  It doesn't work for me.  I can't get to that place in my mind.  I've tried.  Instead of going to that happy place in my mind, this is what it's like:

"God I hate this running shit.  Who the hell ever invented it?  I've been running forever...wait, what the hell do you mean I've only been running for ten seconds?  WTF?  Certainly the timer on this fucking thing is broken.  Great, just my luck to get a machine with a broken timer.  Damn I hate running.  My foot is cramping.  Ouchouchouch.  What the hell is that jabbing me?  Breathe, damn it breathe.  Great, is it time to stop yet?  I had to have made my one minute interval by now.  Shit!  I still have thirty seconds to go.  Really?  Damn it, I'm going to complain to the managers about this broken timer.  Comeonecomeoncomeon...twenty-eight...twenty-seven...twenty-six...twenty-five...fuck it. Done."

 And that's what it's like every. single. time.  I've tried running while watching the TV, I've tried running while listening to music.  Even El Poquito Diablo couldn't get me to run much without worrying that I might kill him in his sleep.  Doesn't matter that I don't know where he lives, I'd find him if I needed to.

But now, now I have to run.  Not even very fast.  Only two miles in 22 minutes.  Two eleven minute miles.  I've tried telling myself that I can do anything for twenty-two minutes.  Yeah, right.

I just don't know how runners do it.  Nebalee has offered to run with me, to get me to where I need to be.  She's a brave girl, 'cause running makes me rather homicidal.

The push-ups and sit-ups for this new direction in my life?  All day long.  I have no problem working through everything required strength-wise.  In fact, I could pass the strength requirements today.  It's this running crap that's killing me.

Any ideas?  I'm open to suggestions from any of you runners.

Happy Me

It doesn't take much to make me happy.

No, really, it doesn't.

Little things like being able to fit into my 5.11 tactical pants make me happy.

I bought them before Thanksgiving.  They were a tad on the too small size, but the next size up was way too big, so I bought them, intending to lose the weight to make them fit.  Then Thanksgiving and Christmas happened and they became a lot more than a tad on the too small size.  I cursed my poor choice in buying a size that was sort of too small.

This morning, I got up and got a wild hair up my butt to try them to see if I could wear them to my match today.  They fit.  I wouldn't say they fit perfectly - another five pounds off my ass will make them fit a whole heap better, but they do fit and I was able to wear them all day without becoming uncomfortable.

Tomorrow is weigh-in and I'm not really looking forward to it, but if I hate my weigh-in, I'll just put my 5.11s back on to remind me that maybe the scale's not always the way to go.

The EL/EM diet vs the EM/EM diet - WTF?

Beel, for years, has said he's going to make a million bucks by writing a book called the EL/EM diet.  That would be, Eat Less/Exercise More diet.  Which is the key to losing weight, but it's not what people want to hear.  We all want a quick weight-loss solution, which is why it's a multi-million dollar industry.

The EL/EM diet worked for me for 26#, at which point I plateaued with a lot of pounds to go.  My body said, "I'm happy where I'm at, thankyouverymuch."  And I said, "I don't give a damn, I need to lose more weight."  And, well, we got into a bit of a snit with each other, with the body winning.

And then I got the Bodybugg; I could track calories burned, which I did for six weeks, but I never really bought into the whole food diary thing.  And I stayed plateau'd.  My body told me, "Nanner, nanner, nanner, I told you I'm happy where I'm at."  At which point, I said some very not pleasant things to my body, who smuggly gained five pounds just to make her point.  She's a real bitch, that one.

So I took my problem to my fellow Buggers (yes, that's what we're called) and they told me I now had to follow the EM/EM diet.  Eat More/Exercise More diet. 

W.

T.

F.?

Seems counter-intuitive, but the way it was explained to me makes perfect sense.  At some point, you're body's going to stick it's tongue out at you (I told you she was a bitch) and plateau.  She's found some sort of balance, but it's a tricky balance.  You decrease what you eat (Eat Less) and increase your exercise (Exercise More), which in turn increases your caloric deficit (what you burn - what you eat = deficit).  Make that deficit too big (over 1,000 cals/day) and she goes into starvation panic mode.  Instead of burning calories, that crazy bitch your body starts storing calories and the scale begins to creep up.

The fix?  Promise the crazy bitch your body that you're not starving her to death and start giving her more calories to burn (Eat More), then start burning those calories (Exercise More).

I increased my caloric intake by 400 calories/day and increased my calorie burn about 300 calories/day and dropped 2.5# in one week after being plateau'd for almost six months.

Seeing that loss has energized me in a way nothing else has been able to.  I'm actually enjoying going to the gym (but I miss The Little Bastard El Poquito Diablo like you wouldn't believe) and seeing my progress on the Bodybugg program.  In fact, as soon as I wrap up my posts here, I'm headed to the gym for an hour and I'll go back tonight when RCC gets off of work.

bodybugg

This is an unsolicited review.  I received the bodybugg as a prize in a contest; I did not recieve it for the purpose of reviewing it.

And, no Mr. Daddy, I'm not talking about crabs!

I'm talking about the ultra-cool calorie management system I won through 24Hour Fitness' Refuel Your Fitness challenge.

The bodybugg is a sensor that you wear on an armband around your left tricep.  Last night, on the Biggest Loser, they had the contestants wearing it on their legs, but the bodybugg people say that the sensor is not calibrated to work on the leg and so the readings are incorrect.  It "reads" calories burned by measuring skin temp, sweat production, pulse rate and a cool accelerometer that can tell if you've been walking or running.  Since each person burns calories differently, there is a section during the set up that your weight, age, lifestyle, etc. has to be entered (body fat, too, if you measure that).  It's supposed to be 90% accurate (or more).

El Poquito Diablo helped me set mine up after one of our training sessions, so set up went fairly smoothly.  I could see that if you had to do it on your own it could be cumbersome and time-consuming.  Together (and by that, I mean, he told me what he wanted), we determined what my target caloric intake and deficit should be.  My goal deficit - I burn more calories than I take in - is between 500 - 800 calories/day.

The bodybugg does the calories burned calculations that you upload to the website, but the caloric intake has to be put in your profile manually.  Until yesterday, I had huge problems with this - there apparently was a Java update issue.  Java updated, myapex.com did not and they didn't play together anymore.  Seems to have been resolved, as I haven't had any problems putting in my daily intake recently.

I like visuals, so I really like the fact that when I upload my calories burned from the bodybugg (plug it into the USB port) and type in my caloric intake, I get a report that looks like this:

Today's graphs don't look so good; I didn't have time to work out today and I'm at work until 10 pm, so whie I still have a caloric deficit, it's by a much smaller margin.

I wasn't sure I was going to like this, but I LOVE it!  If you're working to lose a few pounds, this is a good way to do it.  I'm certain that this will help me break my plateau and get me on track again.  24Hour Fitness sells them, and from Nov 18 - 30, they will be selling the bodybugg V3 (like I have) for $99.00, which is a great deal!  As much as I love it, I don't think I would have paid full price for it - if I hadn't won it, I would not have even given it a second glance.  Now that I own one, I see what an opportunity I would have missed out on.

Oh! Oh! Oh!  A shout-out to 24Hour Fitness - they inadvertently sent me the V3 instead of the new SP that interfaces with smartphones.  I got a notice that the error had occurred and that they'd be sending out the SP.  I was careful with my V3, kept all the packaging and such, so I could send it back.  I got my SP in the mail and got a note inviting me to keep my V3.  Since I already had my V3 up and running, I gave the SP to Nebalee.  I think she loves it as much as I love my V3.

Blogging in Secret

I'm at a NaNoWriMo write-in and I'm supposed to be working on my novel, but I can't focus on it right now, because I'm so excited about my new bodybugg.

Remember the 30-day challenge I did through my gym in October?  Well, for each challenge completed, I earned entries into weekly drawing for cool prizes.  I won the first week prize of a pedometer - which is pretty cool, but I'll be giving it to Nebalee, who actually likes (or fakes it well) running.  I was going to keep it for myself until I got notified that I won a bodybugg SP system.

RCC in: "Bodybugg sounds like crabs."


Anyitchycrotch, this bodybugg is definitely not crabs.  But it might make me crabby, in that it tracks not only calories burned, but calories taken in.  I tried to talk El Poquito Diablo out of using that feature, but that idea just gave him laughing fits.  He might still be laughing, honestly.


I just received it in the mail today and haven't had a chance to try it out, but I'm so excited to use it.  I want to know how many calories I'm burning during my torture workout sessions with El Poquito Diablo.  I've been plateaued for a long time (since July) and think this will help me to break that plateau.  I can't wait to give it a proper review in a week or so.

GunDiva: A Runner?

Not in this lifetime.  But...

RockCrawlinChef decided a while ago that he wanted to run the Bolder Boulder, a 10K race in May that my sister runs every year as her birthday present to herself.  I personally think she's a little nuts and it has apparently rubbed off on my husband.

The first step in his little plan was to start running 5Ks.  He must have forgotten that I. don't. run.  Not for fun, anyway.  I've done my share of running while playing soccer, but that doesn't count.  There's an actual point to running when you're chasing down an attacker.  I still see absolutely no point in running just for the sake of running.  Nebalee is gearing up for her second half marathon.  That's just plain insanity in my book.  However, she swears that it's the only way she can keep any weight off.

I've been plateaued at 166# since July.  I've got to do something about that (other than denying myself food, let's not get crazy here).  *Heavy sigh*  Damn, I've got to get on the running bandwagon.  I'm not happy about that, but I've still got twenty (at minimum) pounds to lose and this seems like the way to go.

So...back to RCC's plan of running 5Ks.  He roped me into running the Harvest Farm Fall Festival 5K in September (so I'm a little behind on my blogging). Well, running wasn't exactly what happened.  We "ran" in intervals - we'd pick out a spot, run to it, walk to the next spot, and so on.  It worked. 

We made it through the race without ambulance intervention.

It was ugly.  Beyond ugly.  But we made it.

And we were starving - after the race I ate more than I'd eaten in months.  Obviously, running burns a calorie or two.  I ate non-stop for two days and it was just a 5K.  Imagine what I could eat if I ran them more often!  I may never lose any weight while running, but, by God, I'm planning on a world-class pig-out on Thanksgiving Day after RCC and I run the Thanksgiving Day run - a 4-miler.

It's probably not the best reason to take up running, but last year, I gained a ton of weight during the holiday season.  This year, I plan to eat what I want and run it off.  Wrong motivation, I know, but I'll take motivation where I can get it.

My plan to survive the 4-miler is to do 1/8 of a mile intervals for two miles a couple of times this week and step it up to 1/4 mile intervals for three miles a couple of times next week and four miles the following week.  I have no intention of actually running the whole four miles - that would just be crazy talk.

But I do plan to finish it, take a nice, hot shower and enjoy BOTH Thanksgiving dinners without guilt.

Randomness. Again.

Digger's my oldest child.  He's also a bit of a pain in the arse.  He's ten inches or so taller than me and likes to use my shoulders as arm rests.  It's annoying.  But not as annoying as what he told me at our friends' wedding:

"Mom, you're so little.  It's like having a fun-sized parent."

Funny, but annoying.

Little shit.

~~~~~~~~~~

So today, I went for up the hill for a ride.  It was cold enough that I wore my duster to ride in; I've found that riding bareback with a duster on will keep me nice and toasty.  The duster acts like a tent that holds in the horse's body temp.  It's actually quite cozy.

After my ride(s), two actually, Mom needed Bill and I to move some hay.  Since walking in my duster is like walking in a damn prom dress, I changed out of it and into my Carhartt jacket.

And was able to zip it closed.

For the first time in a long time (we're talking years).

Not only could I zip it closed, but I had layers on underneath!

Challenge check-in

I couldn't complete yesterday's challenge due to my work schedule.  The challenge was to increase my usual cardio workout by 50%, so if I normally did 30 minutes of cardio, I should up it to 45 minutes.  Since I had to work until 10 pm, it would have been midnight before I got home last night.  Just wasn't going to happen.

But I had a plan...incorporate yesterday's challenge into today's workout.  I killed two birds with one stone at the gym today.  Today's challenge was to slow down.  Take three seconds to lift the weight, hold for one second, and take three seconds to lower the weight.  It was kind of cheating, since El Poquito Diablo has me lift like that anyway, but it still counts. :)

Four(ish) days down, twenty-six to go.

Really, Another Perfect Day

I am one tuckered out little girl.

First, I got up early to go kill zombies.  That takes a lot of work (and ammo).  It's important to keep in mind the "Double Tap" rule: two to the head makes 'em dead.

We celebrated our zombie killing success with a BBQ and then off to the mountains I headed; Bill's birthday party and all that.  So I ate.  Again.

But then, Nebalee joined me in today's challenge: hold a push-up position for one minute.  Repeat five times.

It sucked.  But we did it.

Two in a row.  By Jove, I believe I might be getting this.  Tomorrow's the true test, because it's one of my fourteen-hour days at work.  I'll have to complete the challenge when I get home.

Then, Bill and I went for a quick ride.  During which he forgot the first rule of riding: keep the horse between you and the ground.  Again.  Sheesh, if he keeps this up, I'm going to put him back in training wheels.  Or a saddle.  Whatever.

Now I'm stalling.  I have a lecture to write over a topic I love, but I felt like playing on the blog was much more fun important than writing a lecture over orthopaedic injuries and how to assess them.

One in a Row!

I've been looking for my motivation for a while.  Seems it just up and left me about ten days ago.  Haven't been able to drag my butt to the gym - could barely drag my butt to work. 

I found motivation's replacement - a challenge.  Not to say I'm a competitive type (stop snorting Mom, Bill, Nebalee, Deejo, Junior, Digger, Ashinator, Monster, etc...), but sometimes, in the absence of motivation a good ole double dog dare will work.

I didn't get a double dog dare, but I did receive an email from 24 hour fitness for the 30 day challenge.  No motivation, but I can't back down from a challenge, so I signed up.

Only, I don't look like this.  But you get the idea.

And received my first challenge via email this morning: get on the treadmill and sprint for 1/8 of a mile, recover for 1/8.  Repeat five times.

Because of my knee, I substituted the elliptical machine for the treadmill, but I did complete the challenge after Nebalee and I did body boot camp.

I suppose one in a row is a good start. :)

I've Got To Get To The Gym!

I haven't been to the gym in a week now.  My left knee has been bothering me for a couple of weeks, and of course, my riding marathon didn't help, but I've had bad knees as long as I can remember.  I've literally shredded the meniscii in both knees and mostly I can live with it.

Nebalee thinks I'm at a point where my fitness level exceeds my body's ability.  It sort of makes sense - I'm cardiovascularly and muscularly fit enough to hit the gym five times a week, including boot camp, but my joints aren't liking it.  She ran into the same problem with her foot while training for a half-marathon.  I'm actually to the point in my workouts with El Poquito Diablo, that I'm leaving the training sessions frustrated because I can only give about 80% due to my knee.  If I don't get something figured out soon, I'm going to go nuts.

I'm tired of living on Advil and sleeping with ice packs on my knees (let me tell you how sexy that is); I'm tired of getting up from any position gingerly; I'm tired of *having* to wear tennis shoes.

I actually planned on going to the gym today, knee be damned.

But my GI tract had other plans.  My running today consisted mainly of from the bed or couch to the bathroom.  I'm not certain that counts as exercise.

*sigh*

Maybe I can make it to the gym on Thursday.

Breaking Habits

The hardest habit I'm finding to break is how I order food.  For example, whenever I run through a fast-food place, I know that a kids' meal will fill me up, but I can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that a kids' meal will fill me up and I end up ordering a "grown up" meal. 

That I never finish. 

Gotta stop that and build a new habit.

Getting Back to Normal

Or as close to normal as our house gets. 

Estes is getting better every day, though she's still awfully skinny.  I didn't know that one of the early signs of sand colic is sudden weight loss - she always drops a lot of weight about this time each year, so when the weight came off, we didn't even think of sand colic.  In retrospect, she's probably built up a bit of sand in her gut every year and has just been lucky enough in the past not to colic from it.  I'm hopeful that once we get her gut cleared out (only another couple of days of psyllium) she'll start gaining weight again.  Right now, she looks like we've starved her even though she's been getting more food than the others for a month or so now.

I was gone from the gym for a week.  It was completely unintended.  El Poquito Diablo and I met the Wednesday before Estes colicked; I had to work all day on Thursday; my Friday fell apart and I didn't make it; Saturday, I shot the Steel Challenge and went to the Corn Roast Festival with RockCrawlinChef and then Sunday the shit hit the fan.  Or not, actually.  There was no shitting going on with Estes, which was a big part of the problem.  Long story short, it was a full week that I hadn't stepped foot in the gym.  I was afraid of the damage that I'd done with not working out and stress eating M&Ms.

Imagine my surprise when we did my measurements and I was down two pounds and 2/10th of an inch off my rear end.  I guess all that walking between the pen, the Lodge and the Livery burned a calorie or two after all.

I'm back in the gym on a more regular basis now and feeling so much better.  I'm starting to feel the changes in my body.  I've lost 26#, but I didn't feel like my body shape was changing much - it was just getting smaller.  Now, I can feel that my shape is actually changing.  In videos of me shooting last week, I actually have forearm muscles!  It's an interesting feeling, feeling body parts shifting and changing, but I'm not going to complain.

This morning in boot camp, I actually sprinted!  And was leading the suicides we were running.  Until I couldn't breathe.  Dang I hate that.  It was painfully obvious that I am the sprinter of the family, while Nebalee is the distance runner.  I ran fast and peaked early.  Nebalee kept a steady pace and was able to finish while I was praying the wall would continue to hold me upright.