Tuesday, May 4, 2010

True Story Tuesday: Scamp's Very Bad Day

Thanks again, Rachel and Mr. Daddy, for hosting.  Got a TST yourself?  Head on over and link up for a good Tuesday laugh.

Scamp's Very Bad Day

Sometimes, a good day just goes bad.  I love my mommy and my daddy.  Sometimes I like to follow Mommy around the house.  She usually doesn't mind, so I do it a lot.

Mommy took the big white bag of good smelling stuff out from under the kitchen sink.  It smelled so good, like maybe there was something in there I might want to eat.  Mostly, though, I can't get into it because she keeps the door closed and I can't get to it.  So she takes the white bag of goodness out from under the sink and I was sniffing and following, sniffing and following, sniffing and following, not paying attention to where Mommy was going.

We went down a stair and I took a break from sniffing and following and looked up.  We weren't in the house anymore!  I looked up and up and up and there was no ending, just big blue stuff way up there!  There was wet brown stuff under my paws, not soft carpet.  What?!  Where's home?  I spun around madly, looking for home.  Oh, whew, there it is!  I recognized the black thing that keeps me from going outside and just above it, a clear place where I could just jump back into my house.  It was going to be a big jump, so I settled onto my haunces and jumped as hard as I could.


I hit an invisible force field or something!  I should have been in my house and something smacked me in the face.  Hard!  I landed back on the hard white stuff, Mommy calls it cement, and shook my head.  Why couldn't I get back in the house?  What happened?  Where's Mommy?

I couldn't think, I was so scared.  I ran for the closest thing that looked like I could hide in.  It was green and pokey and there were probably spiders, but at least I had walls and a ceiling again.  This was so much worse than when I spent the night in the guh-raj 'cause I was too scared to follow Gizmo back into the house.  I think I heard Mommy and Daddy calling my name, but I was too scared to come out of the pokey green room.  Even Gizmo came out to look for me, but I just couldn't face the big blue, no walls, no ceiling place again, so I stayed put.

I don't know how long I stayed in the pokey green room, but it was a long time.  Every once in a while, Mommy or Daddy or Digger would come out and call for me.  They even rattled my favorite jar of treats, but it was too scary to leave the pokey green room.  Gizmo came and visited me a couple of times and tried to talk me into following her back into the house, but the minute I left my pokey green room, I saw the black thing and remembered that it smacked me in the head.  Hard! 

So I scurried back to the pokey green room.
Finally, I got sad about being all by myself and wanted to go back in my house, but I was so scared.  Digger held the black thing out of the way and Daddy shook my jar of treats from inside the house and Gizmo helped herd me in the house.

I was so happy to be in the house again!  I ran all around and made sure nothing had changed.  It still had walls and rooms and ceilings.  I can't tell you how relieved I was to be back home and out of the pokey green room.  I don't think I'll ever go back out there to the big blue, no walls, no ceiling place again.

I cuddled up next to Mommy on the couch and she gave me a big hug and then I heard a *snap* and felt something tight around my neck.  I tried to shake it off, but it just made an awful jingle.  The harder I tried to shake it, the louder the jingle got.  I was choking!  It wouldn't come off!  Why, Mommy?  Why would you put this chokey, jingly thing on me?

She tried to calm me down, but this was too much!  First the big blue, no walls, no ceiling place and then a chokey, jingly thing?  What did I do to deserve this?  I thought you loved me Mommy!  She tried to tell me something stupid, like it was for my own good and that if I was going to go "outside" (ah, the big blue, no walls, no ceiling place has a name) I had to have a collar (Is that what this chokey, jingly thing is?) on.  I don't like it at all!  The jingle won't stop!  I gotta get away from it!  I gotta!  So I started running and running and running; up the stairs, up on the bed, back off the bed, down the hall, down the stairs, through the eating place and the TV place and back up the stairs.  Around and around I went and I couldn't out run the chokey, jingly thing that Mommy put on my neck.  I was so tired and I had a really bad day already and this choky, jingly thing wouldn't shut up, so I kept running and running.  Finally, I just couldn't run anymore and I laid down.  Guess what?  The jingling shut up.  It was quiet.  If I didn't move, it didn't jingle.  Whew!

What an awful day.


Finding Pam said...

What a cute and entertaining story. I liked reading this from kitty's perspective. I think you captured the total essence of kitty and how the world must appear to him.

Tiffany said...

Oh, poor Scamp! He sounds a lot like my Toby - the outdoors is a scary place indeed!

passionofthemom said...

LOL I too am loving the perspective of this story!!! xD Completely adorable...=) Pray tell, what exactly is the pokey green room??

Linda Medrano said...

That poor darling Baby! He sounds sweeter than my terrorist black cat, Smokey. Smoke won't wear a collar. He takes them off and throws them someplace every time.

Tracie said...

You could make a children's story book out of this. It was so good!

adrienzgirl said...

Scamp and the little white bag of goodness was killing me. Kitties and their catnip! Whew!

Rachel said...

LOL! This is just hilarious! I can almost feel his panic!

Think he learned his lesson?

Sorry, but I am still laughing about the FIRST kitty story you told, hee hee!

Beth said...

Very well written! So glad to have found you. I will be back! :)