Saturday, March 27, 2010

Things I Heard At The Gun Shop

First, thank you to Princess of Sarcasm, who launched a great response to Gregory J, who did some major fly-by insulting of multiple blogs two days ago.  See the ultra cool button on my sidebar.

So...on to things I heard yesterday:

From the gunsmith:  "How's this go back together again?"

Discussion about customers who come in to buy a gun for protection:
"I want a gun for protection"
"Great, what are you looking for?"
"I don't know.  Something cheap."
"Yeah, couple hundred dollars."
"Really?  Your life is only worth $200?"  Yeah, that's what we want to say, but that's not what we're allowed to say.  Dang it. 

Of course, the 'cheap' guns keep us in business with all of the repairs they require.


And, just for fun, a little story about one of my defensive pistol matches.

We shooters are always looking for new "scenarios" to try out in our defensive pistol matches and some of them are rather creative, like the time the bad guys attacked while we were in a simulated toilet with our pants around our ankles.  The designers of that stage actually brought boxers for "realism".  But that's not the story I'm gonna tell today.

A few years ago, Tom Cruise made a movie named Collateral.  A gun lover's wet dream.  Wouldn't you know it, the match following the release of the movie of course had a scene from the movie we were to replicate.

This is the scene from the movie:

It's a "fast rock draw" followed by a classic Mozambique (two to the chest, one to the head).  In a fast rock, you draw one-handed and shoot from the hip.  No problem.

My turn at the line, I get ready.

The buzzer goes off.

My right hand goes to the gun and I draw, clicking off the safety.  At this time, I hadn't been shooting my .45 very long, and didn't have a whole lot of rounds through it single-handed, so I brace my wrist against my ribs.

I press the trigger, feel a "whap" - like someone had just driven my nipple through my spine - hold my breath, press the trigger a second time and transition to the Mozambique.  After I finish the stage, I clear my weapon, re-holster and finally let my breath out.

When I look down, I find a perfect outline of my rear sight on my shirt. 

Yeah, being the dumbshit I was, when I braced my wrist against my ribs, I didn't give any thought to the twins being in the way.  When the slide moved back, it whacked the ever-lovin' shit out of me.  I had the presence of mind to move the gun away from my side before I shot my second round, but it wasn't until after the stage was done that I realized what had hit me.

Sadly, that was the first stage of the day, so I spent the rest of the day moving stage to stage with my gunpowder tattoo on my right boob. 

GunDiva FAIL!


Allenspark Lodge said...

Better than 40 years ago I remember my dad telling me ""Don't put your thumb behind the slide on an automatic, It'll hurt you bad."

As we were both guys, some other body parts never made it into the lesson.


Dual Mom said...

Who would mess with someone that knows so much about guns and how to use them?

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! Well, how many people can boast about a gunpowder tattoo on their right boob?! Not many - see how special you are?! :-)

Michelle Pixie said...

I am actually a little jealous of your gunpowder tattoo! I have been saying for years I want to learn how to shoot and get my own gun...Now when do you think you can start my lessons?! ;-)

Mad Woman said...

Hahahaha! I love this story. I learned to shoot army rifles in school and loved it. Have often thought of taking lessons with handguns.

By the way...DoucheBag has a new post up. Apologizing. Muahaha.

K. Erickson said...

The gun store story reminds me of the motorcycle safety course I took. The instructor said: "If you have a $10 head, by all means, get a $10 helmut."

As for the GunDiva fail, at least you didn't manage to shoot one of the twins off.

Anonymous said...

I apologize for the comment that I left on your blog.

GunDiva said...

Thank you GregoryJ, I appreciate the apology.

Please don't be offended, but I'm going to keep my comment moderation on.

brian said...

I bet Tom Cruise wasn't using no $200, cheapo weapon :)

I like my S&W .357, but have been thinking about a new pistol...

Linda Medrano said...

GunDiva! You are so funny! We have guns! Lots of them. But for home protection I have Harry (90 pounds) and Honey (80 pounds). They don't think about it or require taking off the safety or loading. Shoot girl, they are always loaded! Be careful of the twins! I like the range, but won't fire the big 'uns. I love my Walther PPK, the 357, the Glock, and the 22 rifle. And I can hit the target with those. I leave the big mammajammers to Alex!