Random Meeting Thoughts

Warning: Foul language post today.  If you don't want to read bad words, click the little red "X" in the upper right-hand corner.  Also, if I work with you, this is totally not about you, it's about all those other idiots in the meeting.  If you're a co-worker reading this, I totally love you.

Here's a quick sampling of the thoughts that run through my brain at meetings:

• Good Lord, if that woman doesn't shut the hell up, I'm going to swallow a bullet.
• Oh. hell. no.  I'm not going to swallow a bullet, but I just may kill her with it instead.
• Will my co-workers help me post bail if I go up for homicide?
• Seriously, is there an abundance of stupid today?
• That's it.  I'm going to fucking kill her.  Who gives a damn if my co-workers won't pitch in for bail?
• Will she ever shut that big mouth?
• Well...I see someone is fond of flaunting an uneducated opinion.
• Jee-sus Christ if he would let someone else talk, he might learn something.
• Didn't the mediator just clarify that point three times?  Oh, that's right, she couldn't hear the clarification because she was flapping her gums.
• Can I dig my eyeballs out with this pen?
• No, I'm going to stab this pen in my ears instead, then I don't have to hear that voice.
• I wonder if I could hire that guy who came to enroll with the 20 year-old felony for throwing Molotov cocktails to kill all these people who are pissing. me. the. fuck. off. 

Obviously, this was one of those days when just the fact that there were other people being allowed to breathe got on my last nerve.  Mostly, I have a good time in meetings.  Today, I was homicidal.  And I wasn't the only one.  At one point, two other people were arguing so loudly we thought they were going to go to blows. 

I put a stop to it before it went to blows and then instantly regretted it. 

It might have been a fun diversion.