Tuesday, May 31, 2011

TST - Captioning

True Story Tuesday - the day that's not Monday; the day when you can look back at Monday and laugh.  Head on over to Once Upon A Miracle to link up and laugh until you blow your morning coffee out of your nose.

Just for Rachel

I post a lot of videos between my eleventy million blogs and I've been trying to figure out how to caption them for Rachel.  Only, I'm not nearly smart enough to do it.  I think I know a way to do it using Windows Movie Maker, but it doesn't always recognize my Flip videos.  So, I tried to use YouTube's automatic video captioning.

And, well,  this is what it came up with for my Top Shot submission video (my comments in italics)...

headshots elephant (because that's the way to get the producer's attention - start with headshots)

and she can sense my early twenties (I don't know who "she" is, or how she can sense my early twenties)
and her friends (nor do I know who her friends are)
taught me how to choose (or what they taught me to choose)

just because it was fun

when three

you know

he could be the grates and parking

gave me a few instructions told me not to

expect too much

said that should be breaks

unity dot and i the extreme

and fell in love with steve (Steve?  I've never fallen in love with a Steve.)

who actually performed for

a long time after that

they out your later he became

a stalker monique an extended period

twenty four cents

settle my

perspective shannon is a little bit different (ok, this part is true, Shannon is a little bit different, but I swear I didn't say that in my video)

probably other contestants

impact at depending on might everything she


during that big time

what's the situation is resolved

out of my life forever

tries to get out of my life forever

i want to continue to shoot

goal i came here to put my favorite places

in the world


about twenty three steps familiar with it


and started shooting

italics lucky

quite a few people who were willing to help

me out this particular gunshot expiry female



and never felt stupid armenian asked questions

it's that time for me an expensive reality

here clinton's neatly

out here so later

a higher and that's why people started about

different sounds

during the time i've worked at the gunshot

i actually everything from twenty-two

or fifty-four so and four fifty locked

and said

things i get to do with a verdict against

was i got to borrow this i'm going to take


said really

and off

i hate exhibition ask your questions

what it means i have such confidence in my

ability do you want to show is that i have

to be seated our constructions never before

this time it never shuts the i'd never shot

any long-distance


when our with

a friend of mine

uh... he should be the basics and a week later

to be honest but first let's get passports

were planning to have it

which means

impressive to him

and so impressive to me because i had no clue

that that was excellence four of us of shooting



built the remington eight seventy (Yay!  It finally got part of some of what I said mostly right!)



basically just sold my

that x overseas rich here

possibly use it to deliver shotgun

and i decided what textiles

ever since stockings interesting she so of

course at all of the bells and whistles on


citrus hair (aw, shit, now fruit has hair?)

fifteen backstop vistaprint tripwire for him

at all

one of the reasons that i want to do

compete i think it did well instead

and apathy

city and not a worksheet international t anything


somebody who enjoy shooting at least like


i've never back down from a challenge i'd

never turned down a chance to shoot anyway

including the big elephant (to be clear, I've never actually shot an elephant)

case party admitted new lecture

northern colorado i don't have any professional

experience somebody

professional training

but that's one of the reasons why i didn't

touch i don't have the additional pressures


shooters conveniently national titles

inspiron sixty

the oppression despite stuff

and tough enough to do this

i hate was a single mom for twelve years raise

three kids worked three jobs and still manage

to get an auction one eighty

sitting once stress-free

and i had yet to pick up a weapon that i haven't

fallen in love (Now, that part's true.  I haven't found a weapon I haven't fallen in love with.)


the (End.  The end.)
Well, Rachel, I tried.  And I just have one question - does the automatic YouTube captioner-thingy madohickey have its mind in the gutter or what?  I'm almost afraid to see what Mr. Daddy has to say about this.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Monday Minute - Nebalee's Birthday Edition

Yes, it's the Monday Minute, but it's also Nebalee's Birthday, so I have to tell her Happy Birthday before we can move on to the MM.

Sidenote: Rach, you have to share with Nebalee...this is too obnoxious not to share :)

Okay, on to the Monday Minute...

1. Aside from your armpits, which body part of yours sweats the most?

Believe it or not, I've been thinking about this question since I received it last week.  I still have no idea.  I'm thinking my head, as I'm constantly wiping sweat off my face when I'm working out.  But then, I could wring gallons of sweat out of my sports bra when I'm done working out, so it could be the twins that sweat the second-most.

2. You have two slices of bread. You can add one additional ingredient to make a sandwich, but as much of it as you want. What are you putting on it?

Turkey (maybe).  I'm not a big sandwich fan.  I'd rather just eat the slices of bread.

3. Can you put your entire fist into your mouth?

I don't know and I don't really care to know.

4. Open your email. How many emails do you have in your 'Inbox'?

Six, including this one, and that's a lot for me.  I try to keep my inbox fairly empty.  At work, I use it as my To Do list.  Makes me crazy to have a full inbox.

5. If an adult male is taken for ransom, is that considered kidnapping?


I think.

Where the hell do you come up with these questions, Ian?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Catch-up Summary Post

I had mentally written individual blog posts for all of this, but ran out of time to get it all done, so here's a summary of the GunDiva/RockCrawlinChef household for the last couple of weeks.

Anniversary Gifts
Remember, a couple of weeks ago, when I posted about the perfect gift?  Lucky for RCC, he loved it more than he would have loved the mixer.

I got him the video camera he's been drooling over for a while now. 

It's a GoPro camera, specific for motorsports.  He's already used it to film a trip up to the Lodge and has big plans for it.

As for his anniversary gift to me - he caught me completely by surprise.  I was hoping for a Bosu, and you all know how much I heart the Bosu.  I didn't get one, but I'm not one bit disappointed.  What I got instead was a takeda cold air intake for Ripley. 

Now, I know it sounds like an odd anniversary gift, but I'm really having a good time with Ripley's mods.  Not only did it increase my horsepower and torque, but has already increased my gas mileage by three mpg.  Maybe once the new-ness wears off and I can keep outta the throttle, I'll see a bigger increase in gas mileage.

Ashinator Made It!
It was touch-and-go there for a while, but Ashinator pulled it out and graduated from high school.  I am so impressed with her artistic side, but that artistic side almost got her in trouble.  She focuses so much and puts so much energy into her photography, which is absolutely incredible, that she doesn't put a whole lot of effort into her core classes.  In true Ashinator form, she buckled down the last week of school and brought her grades up enough to walk.
Her graduation was at eight a.m.  Who on earth plans a graduation so blasted early in the morning?  Yeah, that would explain the ginormous bags under my eyes, but Ashinator looked amazing (as usual).

Grandma?  Not so much.
Can we say false alarm?  Cowgirl had her first "real" prenatal visit on Monday and turns out she's not pregnant, nor was she.  Despite my reservations about becoming a Grandma, my heart is broken for Digger, who had wholeheartedly embraced the idea of being a father.

Unfortunately, the news destroyed their relationship.  My fear was that they were getting married because of the baby even though they both denied it.  Turns out that's exactly why they were getting married.  No baby, no marriage.  Digger's gut feeling is that Cowgirl lied to him on purpose about being pregnant, as their relationship was on the rocks and they were all but broken up before she "found out".  I'm not sure what to think.  There were some inconsistencies about her pregnancy right at the beginning, but they were easily explained.  I don't know that she had any reason to lie or to go to such an extreme extent (scheduling a prenatal visit).  I think that she truly believed she was pregnant.

Monster's Sixteen
Yep, my baby turned sixteen.  It hasn't sunk in yet. Why is it that every time I look at him, all I see is my baby?  He's forever stuck at about four in my brain.  I just want to gather him up in my arms and not let him go.  Ever.  Being a teenager, he's not thrilled about that idea.  So I'll just have to rely on my memories of when he was much younger and a total cuddlebug.

Stalled Out
I've increased my workouts to five days a week, with two-a-days on two of those days.  Gymnastics Boy, who has now chosen the name Poquito Diablo, has embraced the challenge of getting me fit for Top Shot and has a whole new arsenal of torture. 

Still...I haven't dropped an ounce since May 6.  I'm slowly losing inches, but the weight isn't going anywhere.  My bloodwork from the 9HealthFair showed that I'm hypothyroidic and my fabulous Nurse Practitioner started me on thyroid meds.  Let's hope it helps me break this plateau.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Monday Minute 5/23/11

1 - Think back as far as you can, what's the first tape, record, etc you remember listening to?

Rhinestone Cowboy - I think I wore out the grooves on that single.  Now I can't stand the damn song.

2 - What's the first concert you've ever been to, the year and who performed?
Jackson's Victory Tour - sad, don't remember the year, but remember the concert.  That's back when tweens listened to singers with actual talent.

3 - Ever bleed from your ass?
Do pregnancy hemorrhoids count?

4 - If you went to your Senior Prom and had a date, do you still speak to said person?
Funny story - my date, upon walking me to my door after prom, asked if I would mind if he asked my best friend out.  No, I don't still speak to said person.

5 - Name the one television show that's no longer on the air that could have gone on forever.
I've been missing the Bionic Woman and the Million Dollar Man recently.

Today is also Monster's 16th birthday.  Typical Monster-style, he still hasn't figured out what he wants to do for his birthday.

I'm super behind on my blog posts...I'll get caught up soon, I promise.  I've got anniversary stuff, graduation stuff, and stuff stuff.  And a book review.  Dang, I'm really far behind.  Ugh.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

TST: Sister Saturday Gone Wrong

It's that time of the week again!  I love me some TST - mostly because I feel so *normal* after reading everyone elses :)  Click on over to Once Upon A Miracle to join up.

Nebalee and I have been good about working out on Saturdays.  The first Saturday we worked out at my house, the next week was bring a guest day at the gym, so I dragged her along to work out there.  Gymnastics Boy spotted us and dragged us, kicking and screaming invited us to join his Body Bootcamp class.

Even though we got our patooties handed to us in Body Bootcamp, we went back for more last Saturday.

We were again getting our patooties handed to us and were huffing and puffing along on the stationary bikes.

Nebalee: "At least this is like getting a free session with Gymnastics Boy."

What I said: "I wish I could just pay him to train me, I'd pay him $30 an hour and still save money."

What Nebalee heard: "I wish I could just pay him to hang with me, I'd pay him $30 an hour and still save money."

Nebalee: "I think that's called hiring an escort and it's illegal."

Me: "Huh?"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Hmmm...A Partnership?

I opened my email just a few minutes ago and this is what I found:


My name is Halley, and given the focus of your blog I am reaching out to see if you would be interested in a partnership with our company, StudyPoint (www.studypoint.com). We specialize in tutoring K-12 students, and after looking at your site I think that we could both benefit from working together.

Please let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Kind Regards,

I answered with a "No thanks", but what I really wanted to say was:
"Really?!  What part of my FOUR blogs makes you believe that we would have a beneficial relationship?  The blog about shooting/gun handling?  I didn't realize they taught that in K-12 education any more.  The blog about horses/trail riding?  Dang, where was that taught in my K-12 curriculum?  I obviously went to the wrong school.  The fictional blog, where I posted my NaNoWriMo stuff?  Not sure at all how that would be beneficial to partner with a site that specializes in tutoring students.  That leaves this blog, and where on earth do I give the impression (other than the fact that I work for a career college) that it is at all an educational blog?
"Oh, people get an education by visiting this blog, but not the kind that can be tutored for.  We learn about important things like trichophobia and how far over the speed limit I drive running the canyon in Ripley."
Instead of randomly picking a blog to "partner with", it might be a good idea to actually read the blog.  Just a thought.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

TST - Young Ashinator

It's that time again!  I've missed the last couple of weeks due to a crazy work schedule, but don't let my lack of participation deter you - click on over to Once Upon A Miracle to join Rachel and Mr. Daddy.

Ashinator has always been a cutie-patootie.  Here's one of my favorite pictures of the two of us.
Wasn't she a doll?

I forced the kids to watch shared Pipi Longstocking with the kids when they were just old enough to sit (mostly) through a video.  I'm not sure Ashinator got much out of it, other than a fascination with Pipi's braids.

I don't remember who braided her hair, but I'm pretty sure it was Nebalee since I wasn't very good at braiding when Ash was younger. (And Nebalee's a rockin' aunt!)

We were sitting down to dinner one night and Ashinator had her hair in two braids (without the wire to make them stand out from her head - we had to draw the line somewhere).  Bill, being Bill, couldn't resist tugging on one of her braids, to which Ashinator belted out...

"Don't touch my pee-pees!"

It took us a few awe-struck moments to realize she was talking about her "PeePee Longstockings".

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday Minute 5/9/11

It's baaaaacccckkkk!  A meme like you've never experienced...The Monday Minute.  Click on over to The Daily Dose of Reality to join up.

1 - Since so many of you were so willing to wrestle naked with another member of the same sex for a million dollars, let's say we double it to $2,000,000 and put it on PPV for all to see. Still willing?

Do I also get a cut of the PPV take?  'Cause if so, I'm in!

2 - You just found a $100 bill on the ground while walking around your neighborhood. What's your first thought to do with the money?

Spend it!  On what, I don't know, but an extra $100?  What else you gonna do with it?

If, however, I had seen who dropped it, I would give it back to them without a second thought.  Losing $100 would suck big time!

3 - Mother's Day is coming up. Name one thing you learned from your Mother that you'd like to share.

Toughness.  My mom is physically and emotionally tough.  Not much gets to her.

4 - We all know that Nickelback, Kiss, Creed, Rush, the Foo Fighers and Axl Rose suck ass, name another band that should be added onto this famed list.

I'm going to lose some MM points for this one, as I'm drawing a complete blank here...

5 - Have you ever had a zit on your ass?

Yep.  I divorced him in 1997.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day times four

L-R: Monster, Mom, Grandma Nita, Bill, RCC, Me, Junior, Digger, Ashinator, Mr. Nebalee, Nebalee
L-R (littlest ones): Autobot, Kyzzer, Asset

Texan Mama asked some of her blog followers for pictures of us with our kids.  Since I don't have many of me and the kids (at least not in digital format), I dug through my archives and found this one from our wedding day in 2009.

When it came up, I realized how amazing this picture is.  In it are four living generations.  When Ashinator was born, we had five living generations of women, but we lost Great-Grandma just a month before Monster was born.  Now it's up to Digger's upcoming little one to bring on the fifth generation again.

I'm lucky to have my family so close and to have been raised with so many amazing women.  I have fond memories of spending afternoons with Great-Grandma.  We did all sorts of cool things, like pressing flowers between pieces of wax paper and she was the master at making paper doll chains.  No matter how many times she showed me how to do it, I never mastered it.  Great-Grandma was a very hands-on fun kinda grandma.

Grandma Nita was living out of state when I was little-little, but when she moved back to Colorado, she brought the greatest present on earth: Grandpa Ed!  He was the perfect balance for Grandma, who can tend to be uptight and want everything just-so.  She  was super tolerant of him doing crazy things with us, like hanging us from the doorknobs by our waistbands or rolling us up in blankets like burritos and then flinging us out of them.

Mom...well, you all know how cool my mom is.  The Bionic Cowgirl...crazy woman who hops back up on her horse just six and a half weeks post hip replacement surgery.  Now, when I turned eighteen, I was pretty sure she didn't know anything.  However...when I got divorced, I realized that she was pretty much the smartest person on the planet.

I'm pretty lucky to come from a line of such wonderful women.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Sister Saturday

Yep, it's that day again (I need to have RCC make me a badge for it, I think).  The day when I run down my workout with Nebalee.  Only, because of a phone call I got yesterday, I have to be much more serious about my workouts than I had been.  Not that I haven't been serious about my workouts, but I didn't have a real reason for them other than to lose some weight and get into better shape.

That has to change.  I have to be Fit, with a capital F and do it quickly.

Today was free guest day at the gym, so I dragged Nebalee along with some vague idea of what to work on.  Gymnastics Boy had told me where to start, but I figured we'd play it by ear.  Instead, when we checked in, one of the sales people looked at me and said, "you work out with Gymnastics Boy, are you here to do the Body Bootcamp?"

Number 1) I'm a little freaked out that people at the gym are beginning to notice when I'm there or not and
Number 2) that's twice in two visits that a staff member has singled me out to ask how it's going with Gymnastics Boy.  Spooky stuff.

I told him we were just there to work out and we started doing what Gymnastics Boy had suggested.  While we were stretching, I saw him and said hi.  Big mistake.  Guess who the instructor is for Body Bootcamp?  First two guesses don't count.  Guess which sisters got personally ushered into Body Bootcamp?  Again, first two guesses don't count.

Got our asses kicked.  It was a good time.

Now, I'm off to see my girl, Robs.  I haven't seen her since Baking Day and I miss her terribly.  Then it's to the range.  Have to get some lead down range. 

I hope y'all have an amazing Saturday!

PS  If you didn't click the link about my phone call, you might want to do so :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Ain't It Always The Way?

Next week is our anniversary.  RCC and I haven't been married but two years, so we're still trying to get good anniversary gifts for each other.  I'm enjoying it while I can.  Last year, we decided that we weren't going to get gifts for each other - we were going to take a weekend trip instead.  So, being the dumbass I am, I took RCC at his word and didn't get him anything.  He, being a well-trained male, didn't take me at my word and surprised me with Eloise.

I. was. not. going. to. screw. up. again.

I got him an amazing anniversary gift (no, I'm not telling you - we still have a week to go!).  Ordered it this morning, it's being shipped as we speak.  I tell you, this gift is amazeballs.

I was feeling pretty happy with myself.  Finally came up with the perfect gift; he's been trying to get it out of me and I've been able to keep it quiet.  So I'm feeling pretty good.

Right up until I walk into Sam's Club and see this...

...the exact Kitchenaid mixer he's been wanting since we've met.  For the best price I've ever seen.  And in the color I want.  I know, I know, it's supposed to be his gift, but I get a say in the color.

Sonofamotherlessgoat!  Really?! 

I just order him the *perfect* gift and turn around and find his dream mixer?  Ugh.  What to do?

I'll tell you what I did.  I got on the phone called him and told him that he'd better love the gift I ordered for our anniversary even more than he would love the Kitchenaid.  I might become a widow if he looks at his anniversary gift and says he'd like the mixer better.

Start saving bail money, 'cause I might need it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Return to the IBTC

Anyone else remember the IBTC from junior high?  Yeah, that would be the Itty Bitty you-know-what Club.

Was a member most of my life and was okay with it.  Really.  I had enough to (barely) fill an A-cup, but as active as I was, I didn't really worry about it.  Then I had kids and I bounced (pun intended) from an A to a C and back with each pregnancy.  While my ex-husband enjoyed it when the boobie fairy came, I was super excited for them to go away after pregnancy.

And then I got fat.  Let's not sugarcoat it, when you jump from 124# to 189# in the span of two years, it's not "putting on a little weight", it's getting fat.  Well, guess what came back?  Hello, thought I'd never see those again.  Can't say I was particularly happy about it either.

What I *am* happy about is the change from 38C to 36B!!!!  Finally!  A little more (okay, a lot more) working out and weight loss and I might be back where I started.  Woo Hoo!!

I know it seems like a silly thing to celebrate, but I'm thrilled to be on my way to being a member of the IBTC again.