Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Man Cold

I don't get sick often, which is probably why I am such a baby about it.  The last time I was sick was October 16, 2009.  How do I know that?  Because I blogged about it.  That's how rarely I get sick enough to turn into such a man baby about it.

I try not to be a baby, I really do, but I hate being a mouth-breather due to the tons of concrete snot inside my face.  I hate the fact that I can hear the fluid move in my eustacian tubes.  I hate not being able to get comfortable.  See the pattern here?  Being sick makes me unhappy and when Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

RockCrawlinChef has been sick for two weeks.  He's been coughing up multi-colored lung cookies all night long.  Has he whined about it?  Nope.  He's a much better woman about being sick than I am.  Just went to the store one day and bought himself a bottle of NyQuil  dosed himself up and went to bed. 

How many of you started singing Denis Leary's NyQuil song when you read what RCC took?  It's thanks to Mr. Leary that I can properly spell it, "Big N, little y, giant fucking Q", and then I have to mentally sing the whole NyQuil song in my head.  Thanks a lot, Mr. Leary, I'm going to be singing that stupid song all day long.

I'm going to curl up with my Advil Cold & Sinus and snot rags and take a nap.  Mostly because it's too much effort to get out of bed and go to the couch...

Oh, and it just dawned on me that this is my 400th post!  That's like a milestone or something.  My mucus-infested synapses aren't firing well enough to think of something to do to celebrate this post.  Hmm...

Friday, February 25, 2011

Didn't Quite Dodge The Bullet

Since before Christmas break, everyone around me has been sick.  The other Associate Dean started it all off with a nasty upper respiratory infection that he passed on to a couple of the instructors.  Christmas break came and I escaped the college for a week.  When I returned a whole new virus was circulating; again wiping out instructors right and left.  Then our Dean got sick.  Through it all, my bulletproof immune system stayed strong.  Woo Hoo!

Then RCC got sick.  Some nasty URI again.  I *thought* I'd dodged that bullet, too.  It's been going on three weeks since he got sick.  With a viral incubation period of 10 days to two weeks, I was sure I'd avoided his lung-cookie producing URI.

Monday, I woke up with half a ton of concrete in my left sinuses.  Aw, crap.  I took some of my favorite drug on the planet, Advil Cold & Sinus and felt better.  I still felt a little under the weather, with achy joints and a face full of cement snot.  I went to work out with my trainer, but just went through the motions.  My heart was definitely not into working out.

Woke up Tuesday morning feeling a whole lot better.  Worked out again - one hour on the treadmill.  Still felt mostly good.

Woke up Wednesday feeling human.  Worked out again - half hour on the elliptical machine.  Was bored shitless.  Even with Eloise, I just couldn't stay on the dang thing.

Thursday - a full ton of concrete in both sides of my face.  Great.  Worked my usual fifteen hours, hopped up on cold medicine.  Some Advil variation of their Cold & Sinus.  I wanted my favorite, but I couldn't buy it off the shelf - it has to be purchased via the pharmacy, which isn't open before I have to be at work.

Today.  Well, I can now say that I have not dodged that sickness bullet.

But I gave it a hell of a run for its money.  I've been knee-deep in sick people, both at work and at home since the beginning of December.

I'm even going to blame the snot packing my head for the one-pound weight gain I had this week.  There's nothing quite like attempting to work your ass off only to find that you've *gained* a pound.  Bah!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Which is Worse?

A Monday on a Monday,
Or a Monday on a Tuesday?

Pretty much a toss up for me.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

You Know What?

I'm awfully damn lucky.

I've been fairly cranky for the last couple of weeks.  Same old story - overworked and underpaid.  Or too much to do and not enough time to do it.  Sometimes it's easy to fall into the "woe is me" mentality and it takes a smack to the head something to break the cycle.

My eye-opener occurred the other day when I was in the shower.  I was mentally reviewing a series of emails I had with Lee Lofland, the brains behind Writers' Police Academy and started mentally writing the post for The GunDivas about WPA, when it dawned on me...I'm awfully damn lucky. 

I've got an amazing husband who doesn't mind that I'm planning on running down to North Carolina in September to attend WPA.  I didn't even ask if it was okay; I said, "hey, Honey, I'm going to WPA again this year."  Would it have been more polite to ask instead of tell him I was going?  Yes.  But he truly doesn't mind if I go.

I asked him last year if he minded that I had trips planned without him and he told me that he managed to live without me for thirty-some years, he wasn't going to shrivel up and die over a few days.  I know of several couples who have been married for a long time who can't stand for one or the other to be gone.  I don't know if it's co-dependency or lack of trust, but I've seen some pretty nasty fights and I'm glad that it's not a problem for us.

And then there's how he supports my job.  It sucks (I love it, but the hours suck).  I work fifty-plus hours a week most weeks, and I'm trying to add in work-outs at least three days a week.  Now that it's Health Fair season, I'm also teaching on Saturdays, so one of the few days that we have together is shot.  Today, he catered lunch for my students, making a fajita bar for their lunch so I wouldn't have to order pizza.  He'll do the same thing for my class next Saturday.

It's not like he's got a ton of free time himself; he's working two jobs and going to school full-time, yet is fully supportive of anything that I want to do.

I am awfully damn lucky.

I just hope that he feels the same way, and that I can support him in his interests and work as much as he supports me.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

TST: More from Nebalee

Nebalee is helping me out with this week's TST from Rachel and Mr. Daddy.  She's got an abundance of patience with her second graders.  There's a reason I teach at the college level.

OH, what do my wandering eyes see…

...But 7 out of my 9 second grade girls with gloopy streaks of fluorescent rainbows in their hair. Yes, that’s right: pink, orange, and yellow highlights that would blind the blindman. I opened the door for my class after recess and what a treat. (Now, I’m not talking a little marker fun. I’m talking hair paint as thick as mud and colored like the Easter bunny puked.) I’m quite a transparent person so the displeasure on my face was all that was needed.

“ My, oh my, do we have a little situation here girls. Hope you like what you look like because you get to explain that to mommy and daddy.” Instead of marching them to the bathroom, I marched them to music and wished that lovely vocalist good luck.

The most fun was kicking them out of the bathroom after music. They thought reading time would be a good time to bathe in the bathroom sinks. Nope. You ladies head back to class. You have some reading to do. As I counted heads, I realize one is missing…my most vibrant child.

I found her in the nurse’s office. She had convinced the nurse to glove up and start scrubbing. In I walk to unleash a new round of fun. I smiled politely and asked her to quit scrubbing for this child is going home looking like this. She is not going to miss her reading group because of a little sticky recess fun. That mess is going home.

School wasn’t out but 6 minutes when I received the first call. Let the fun begin!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Because I Love You...

...and because I got some cool stuff for free!

Megan from BuildASign contacted me a month or so ago about doing a review on their products.  I was really interested in participating, but didn't have time to breathe, much less play around with their cool stuff.  Megan was super patient with me and gave me all the time I needed.

Last weekend, I made time to sit down at the computer.  I played with bumper stickers, window clings, decals.  You name it, I played with it.  It was super easy, and though I'm not the graphic designer in the family, I pretended I was.  I ended up designing some window clings that I think are kind of cool.

The site was fun to play around with and they got my order out to me faster than promised.  Megan told me to expect my order to arrive around February 16.  Imagine my delight when my order arrived on the 11th, just three days after I placed it.

Megan, in addition to being exceptionally patient with me, offered some really good suggestions to make sure that I was happy with the product.  I'm glad I listened to her suggestions.

I do have a problem, though.

I can't take a picture of the cling, because it's white writing on the white backing. So you'll have to trust me that it's pretty darn cool and Ripley's already sporting one (but RCC has Ripley at work, so I still can't take a picture).

I have ten to give away, but instead of using the Random Name Picker like I usually do, I'm going to give them to the first ten commenters. Family (Mom, Bill, Nebalee, Deejo) doesn't count because you're expected to put one on your vehicles and I've already got yours set aside.

I had such a good time with BuildASign that I've already got other projects in mind.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Anti-Valentine's Day

RockCrawlinChef and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

I know that shocks a lot of people.  For years, I both dreaded and anticipated Valentine's Day.  I dreaded it because I *hated* all of the hype and the "you're nothing unless someone's head over heels in love with you and draping you in diamonds" bullshit that goes along with it.  I anticipated it because it finally meant that the season of torture was over.  In case you hadn't noticed (and if you're single, I'll bet you've noticed), single people are tormented from mid-October all the way through Valentine's Day.  Everything's love this, family that.  If you're single, every damn commercial is a slap in the face. 


After RCC and I became "us", and our first Valentine's Day together approached, we decided we weren't going to celebrate it.  And we haven't.  Instead, we celebrate our Anti-Valentine's Day (also known as our "Eye Contact" Anniversary) on February 16.  This year will be our third.  Because we're both working that day, we sort of celebrated last night by buying a new TV, as ours is mostly dead.

I think it still makes him a little nervous that I tell him I don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day.  I mean, men are conditioned that they have to remember it, even if their woman says not to.  I actually mean it.  I'm not doing anything for him for the over-priced Hallmark Holiday and I don't want him to do anything for me.

Instead, we'll spend the evening after work enjoying our new TV.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

And My Li'l Heart Went Pitter-Pat


PitterPat pitterpat




I have this pesky little dysrhythmia called paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia (PSVT), which basically means that I've got a little bundle of traitorous nerves somewhere above the ventricles (supraventricular) who just lie in wait for take over the Cardiac Kingdom.  I supplement the forces of the Cardiac Kingdom with a little white pill called Knight BetaBlocker.

For the most part, Knight BetaBlocker and I are pretty good friends.  I am not always a good Queen for the Cardiac Kingdom, in that I don't always utilize Knight BetaBlocker.  However, when I work out, I always call for reinforcements.  On days that I work out, Knight BetaBlocker and I are friends.  I never forget him on days when I know I'm going to purposely be raising the heart rate of the Cardiac Kingdom, for the Evil PSVT is always lurking, the sneaky opportunist.

Evil PSVT loves to use Cardiac Kingdom's elevated heart rate as a Trojan Horse, he hides out in the elevated heart rate until the time is right for him to strike.  Knight BetaBlocker is a good Knight and thwarts most efforts of the Evil PSVT.  Sometimes, however, Evil PSVT manages to sneak past Knight BetaBlocker's defenses.

And sometimes Queen GunDiva of the Cardiac Kingdom does something to inadvertently - and oh so innocently - undermine Knight BetaBlocker's strong defenses, as was the case on Tuesday.  Queen GunDiva, in looking out for the good of her fellow man, decided to donate a pint of blood, roughly 480 grams of the stuff.  Good for her fellow man, bad for the Cardiac Kingdom.

On Wednesday, Queen GunDiva diligently recruited the efforts of Knight BetaBlocker, knowing that she was going to be working out and thus elevating the Cardiac Kingdom's heart rate and forgetting that she may have accidentally - and oh so innocently - undermined Knight BetaBlocker's defenses.

Tragedy struck!  Cardiac Kingdom's heart rate elevated as planned, Evil PSVT rode the Trojan Horse to the gate and slipped beneath Knight BetaBlocker's weakened defenses.  Evil PSVT knocked out the Cardiac Kingdom's trusty AV Node and took over pacing of the heart.  The Cardiac Kingdom went on a wild ride; first breaking 160 beats per minute and galloping rapidly toward 180 beats per minute.  In no time, Evil PSVT had reached 180 beats per minute and continued on toward 200 beats per minute.

The poor Cardiac Kingdom was exhausted and struggled to keep up with the driving task-master, Evil PSVT.  Queen GunDiva became short of breath, developed a "tickle" in her throat, felt nauseus and started seeing stars.  She tried valiently to help Knight BetaBlocker by performing the Valsalva Maneuver and Carotid Massage, but to no avail.

Finally, with the help of her personal trainer, she was able to sit, take big gulps of air and control the Evil PSVT until Knight BetaBlocker could overtake the traitor.

And she learned an important lesson: Sometimes donating blood for the greater good requires more rest than Queen GunDiva gave herself and the Cardiac Kingdom.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sometimes You're the Windshield, Sometimes You're the Bug

Today, I'm the bug.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be the windshield.

Don't know what the heck is going on in the Universe today, but everything's off-kilter for everybody it seems. 

All I can say is WTH? 

When did we step into the Twilight Zone? 

And can I get off the ride?

Off to see the wizard personal trainer, who is all of about twelve years old and super enthusiastic.  Luckily, he's also not annoying in his enthusiasm, so I haven't had to break him in half and sit on him.  'Cause I totally could.  I may be old and fat and out of shape, but what's the saying?  "Old age and treachery always trumps youth and skill"?  Yeah,  believe it!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Mistaken Identity

It's that time of the week again.  That time when we share our most embarrassing or uh-oh moments with the rest of the blogosphere.  Thank you to Rachel and Mr. Daddy for hosting this each week.

When Tara and I were walking around SHOT Show, we stopped to talk to several people at booths.  Everyone was really nice and offered up a lot of information.  At one booth (which shall remain nameless) Tara mentioned that we were tossing around a blog post idea and got into a discussion with a couple of guys at the booth.  Tara mentioned that I wrote for the Girls With Guns blog.  The guy we were talking to got really excited and went to get the PR guy for the booth, who was also super impressed and bent over backward to answer any questions we had.

He then motioned over another person, a female shooter, and got her involved in the discussion.  We had a great time and were both beyond impressed that they were reading GWG.  Holy moley!  I felt like Mrs Mom and I had hit the big time.  The PR guy from a very major gun manufacturer read our blog!  And offered to help us out in any way he could!

Tara and I talked about how to help the blog grow and gain more followers.  The first step was to register a web domain name.  When I got home from SHOT Show and had time to sit at the computer, I started looking at domain names.  Thinking that we should keep our domain name the same as the blog name, I searched  Let's just say I was more than a little shocked to find that our domain name was basically a T & A site (with poor gun handling to boot!).

Guess what?

We won't be pursuing that domain name any time soon.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Ugh! A Slacker Update

I don't know what's happening to my days.  Seems like they're slipping away too quickly.  I wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, rinse, lather, repeat.  I don't much remember January.  Does anyone?

Ripley got her first ouchie while we were enjoying the unseasonably nice weather.  Before our cold snap, we had some spring-like weather.  Beautiful days in the 60s!  I miss them already.  I digress.  RockCrawlinChef and I were out shopping at Sam's Club and when we got out of the store, we saw this...

They're small gouges, but they go into the plastic on the bumper.  There's no sanding them out and pretending they didn't happen.

My husband loves me - before the cold snap hit, he made a point to "install" a rear window in the Jeep so I wouldn't have to turn into an ice cube.   It was such a gorgeous day outside the Scamp decided to oversee the project from the roof...

RCC pulled out his inner redneck ingenuity and fashioned a rear window out of a shower curtain, duct tape, and nylon cord (and I got a new leather punch out of the deal).  I'm pretty sure Ashinator wishes that we could stitch a window into the Accord - she's pretty sick of the plastic wrap/packaging tape window she's got.

It got bitter cold for a couple of days.  I had students pissed off that we didn't cancel school.  All of the public schools were closed, why wasn't the college?  Here's the short answer:

It's only cold!  Man the eff up!
Put on your coat!
Get your ass in the car
and get to school!

I really wanted to channel my inner R. Lee Ermey...

Of course, as much as I wanted to scream that at them, I couldn't.  What I could tell them was that they were adults and able to get themselves to school.  The roads weren't bad; the reason the public schools were closed was that they couldn't have so many kids standing out at the bus stops (to which, I'm sure my Northern readers will laugh) or walking to school.

It warmed up slightly, but not enough for my riding lessons in an outdoor arena.  Being Colorado, it'll be cold again in a couple of days, but I do appreciate the break we get in the weather between cold snaps.

One of my resolutions at the beginning of the year was to lose weight.  Hell, it's on my list every year.  RCC and I have both decided that the forty-plus pounds we each gained when we got married has got to go.  He - the brat - lost 20# in January just by changing his eating habits.  Me?  I lost four.  That's right.  Four freaking pounds!  Can we say pissed off wife?  Yep.  He hasn't even started working out.  He's just eating a bowl of cereal in the morning, a salad with a protein at lunch, and something for dinner.  Pisses me off.  I can't lose weight without blood, sweat and tears.  I wasn't able to join a gym until last week - that crap's expensive.  I bit the bullet and not only joined a gym, but paid for three fifty-minute sessions with a personal trainer.  My first session is tomorrow.  He's going to kick my fat arse and I'm more than a little afraid.  But if it's going to take blood, sweat and tears, I'm willing to give them.  I've got forty pounds to go before my birthday in July.

And in the good news category...
Tara Janzen's newest release, LOOSE ENDS, hit the NYT Best Seller list! This is the third (or is it fourth) time her Steele Street boys and girls have ended up on the list.  I'm so thrilled for her; she deserves it.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Go Here!

Well, rather, go here, to The Damage Is Done, written by musician-former writing teacher-current firefighter, Brian.  I promise, you won't regret the trip.  I was one of his followers when he was Switch 2 Plan B, but he lost the domain name and had to change it up (bummer).  BUT... it is an excellent time to discover (or re-discover) a fun, well-written, ecclectic blog.

Tell him I sent you in his comment section.