Two Year Meetiversary

I pulled into the parking lot of Barnes and Noble a ten minutes before we'd agreed to meet.

And stayed in the car, staring at the entrance.

What if he doesn't show up?  He's the one who suggested this place.  But what if what's going on with Monster was enough to scare him off?  I should just go home.  I'm a mess, I have no business here.

I stared at the front entrance some more.  Then stared at the clock in my dashboard.  Then stared at the entrance.  I may have thrown up a little bit too.  My hand reached for the door and then dropped back into my lap.

What are you thinking?  Get moving!  I can't.  What if he's an asshole?  What if he's a really great guy, but he hates me?  Get moving!  Am I insane?  Damn, should have worked harder on losing some weight.

I stared at the front entrance some more, watching people go in and out.  There was no one pacing on the sidewalk, looking as nervous as I felt.

What if he stands me up?

I watched some more people go in and out of the entrance.  My hand crept toward the door again.  I actually managed to touch the door handle before my hand fell into my lap.

How am I going to recognize him?  I've only seen pictures and I'm lousy about faces.  Shit!  I hadn't thought of that.  How will I know it's him?

Oh, for Christ's Sake, girl, put your big girl panties on and Let's Do This!

I took a deep breath, grabbed the door handle, threw the door open and got out of the car before my mind could figure out what my body was doing.  I closed the door, leaned against it and maybe threw up a little again.

Now what?  Stop stalling and just go!

Once my body was freed from the confines of the car, it seemed to know what to do.  One foot in front of the other across the parking lot and up onto the sidewalk.  A quick glance in the window.

Oh my God!  There he is!

All I could see was his back, but I knew it was him.  I gained confidence as I entered the doors and turned to my left.  There he was, walking toward me with a long-stemmed red rose in his hand.  We hugged forever and I felt him shaking like a leaf.

Poor guy, he's in worse shape than I am.

When he spoke, even his voice shook.  We found a table near the coffee shop and started talking.  I couldn't take my eyes off of his; the shirt he was wearing made his green eyes look blue, and his eyelashes were unbelievably long.  I was jealous of those eyelashes.  I even noticed his nose - people pay a lot of money to have a nose like his.  Who notices stuff like that?  Someone who's head-over-heels for a guy she'd only ever "spoken to" via email.

He shook for an hour.  We talked about everything under the sun.  I fantasized about curling up on a couch with him.  He was a cuddle bug, I could tell just by looking.

Four hours later, we both agreed that it was time to part.

An hour after that, we actually left the store.  He said he had something for me in his truck, so I went out the back way with him.  He checked out my ass.  He denies it; I felt it.  At his truck, he reached in and handed me a picture he had drawn of me and Meeker.

He leaned in for the kiss, chickened out, and gave me a goodbye hug instead.

Back in my car, I felt something I hadn't in a long time.  Hope.  Despite having "hope" tattoo'd on my ankle, it was hard to hold onto.

~~~

Hard to believe that was March 22, 2008, two years ago today.  Seems like we've spent our whole lives together.

I love you, Sexy Man.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tomorrow's the big Two-Oh-Oh! 

Come join in the fun and maybe you'll win one of my favorite things!

~~~~~~~~~~
Head on over to Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit for some funny weight loss stories -
One of them is mine!

The Best Temper Tantrum I've Ever Had

Today marks the two year anniversary of the best temper tantrum I've ever had.

The RockCrawlinChef and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.  We have no desire to.  Now, let me explain.  We "met" because of a temper tantrum I had after Valentine's Day in 2008.  I'd been a divorced, single mom for going on eleven years at the time and I was not a pleasant person.  I was working way too much, worrying way too much, and tired as hell about doing it all on my own.  I was D-O-N-E.

A friend of mine and I had signed up for Cupid.com mostly because we thought it would be fun to go speed dating and in order to register we had to be members of Cupid.com.  Not a problem, we signed up for our free profiles and went speed dating.  Oh, God, that was a disaster for another time.  I'd even "met" a couple of guys and been out on *one* date with someone I met on-line.  Also disasters for another time.

Valentine's Day 2008 did me in.  I was a royal damn bitch.  There was no one safe around me.  Like I said, I was D-O-N-E.  I was one of those bitter bitches that you'd see on the street and cross to the other side just to get out of my way. 

I still had not completely recovered from my world-class hate-fest when I logged onto Cupid on February 16th, but I was slightly less bitter and in the frame of mind that if I couldn't find just one profile that I'd throw in the towel and become the crazy horse woman I was on the path of becoming anyway.

I went throught page after page of profiles, getting more and more frustrated, when I came across this headline...

"Maybe... just maybe she's out there." 

It piqued my interest and I clicked on RCC's profile.  He was smart.  And articulate.  And liked to travel.  And liked to shoot.  Could it be?  Could I really have just found someone I could connect with?

Before I could second guess myself, I sent him an eye contact, "We might make a good match."

And so it began...weeks of daily emails.  In the beginning, just once a day, which quickly grew to multiple emails a day.  I began to feel something I thought had died long ago - HOPE.  Really, he might be a nice, genuine guy.  After six weeks, we decided to meet in person.  His choice.  He chose Barnes and Noble - no pressure of eating, a neutral spot that we could both make an escape from if we needed to.

We met.  Five hours later, we left B&N fast friends. 

Twelve weeks later, we got engaged. 

Eleven months after that, we got married.

The rest, as they say, is history.

42k In And Finally, Shelby Starts Her Online Search...

So, Mom's been whining about no romance yet in the book.  This isn't romance, but possibly the start of it...

The kids are sitting around the coffee table, working diligently on their homework, pretending not to watch Allie at the computer. I bend over her shoulder, “Alright, I’m here. Show me my virtual matches.”


“Trade me places, so you can see better. I’ve already got you logged in and brought up your hits. All you have to do is sort through them.” She gets up and grabs a chair to drag over so she can watch over my shoulder.

“What about your hits?” I ask, taking the desk chair.

“Oh. They were all losers, but don’t worry, there will be more tomorrow, I’m sure of it.” She’s treating this online dating as just another adventure in her life.

I start scrolling down my list of potential matches, or hits, as Allie calls them. I suppose the ten or so I see aren’t bad considering that my profile hasn’t even been up for twenty-four hours. I start at the top and work my way down. I’m really trying not to be too picky, but the hits who are blatantly looking for nothing more than a bed buddy get denied, along with the ones who can’t spell or punctuate. If that’s the best they can do while trying to impress someone, I can’t imagine how bad they would be when they quit trying to impress. In less than a half an hour, I decide that my hits, too, are losers and turn hopelessly to Allie. “C’mon, Al. Have we really been reduced to this? Are we really so horrible in person that we can’t find our own dates?”

“Hell, no, we’re not ‘so horrible that we can’t find our own dates’. The problem is, we never leave the ranch to meet anyone else. Everyone we come into contact with is business-related. Even the hot guests we get are off-limits. How the heck are we supposed to meet any decent guys this way?” She gestures around us. “Look, I love our life here, being a part of your family and helping raise the kids and run the ranch, but you know, occasionally, I’d really like to get lai…,” she catches herself, remembering that the kids are right behind us at the coffee table, “I mean, I’d really like to have some companionship.”

Luke snorts behind us and I know he caught Allie’s little slip of the tongue. I glare at him in warning to keep his knowledge to himself. He looks away, grinning.

“I know,” I say quietly, “We really appreciate everything you do for us, really. I’m sorry that being here with us is screwing up your life.” I feel guilty about depending on her so much, at the same time, the thought of her finding someone to start a family of her own with scares the hell out of me.

“Stop right there. I know what you’re thinking. Just stop.” She puts up a hand, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. And I love it, I really do, it’s just that sometimes…”

“I know. Me, too.” I turn back to the computer, “Show me this dynamite profile that you’ve created for me that’s attracting all of the losers.”

“Not all the losers, I got my share today, too.” She reaches across me and clicks over to my profile.

The picture she has posted for me takes my breath away. I usually hate pictures of myself and was wondering what she’d post. My profile picture was obviously taken this morning during my wild ride from the barn to the trail on Purina. I’m leaned up over Purina’s neck, practically glowing with the thrill of the ride. My long auburn hair is streaming back from under my cowboy hat at the same angle as her straw-colored tail; her mane is flowing back up over my hands, which seem to disappear into it. Allie and her camera with its ultra-fast shutter speed managed to capture Purina with all four hooves off the ground; we look like we’re flying through the air.

“Wow,” I finally breathe, “this picture is amazing.”

“I heard you two coming and got my camera out just in time. I got a lot more, but I think this is the best.”

“Heathi, come look at this picture Allie took. It’s amazing.” I can’t move my eyes from the monitor I’m so mesmerized by the picture, so I just wave to them to join us. Allie clicks on it, enlarging it to fill the whole screen.

“Mom, that’s you! And you look so happy!” Caitleigh squeals.

“Free,” Luke corrects, “You look free.”

“Mom, you’re the prettiest Mom in the whole world,” CJ tells me seriously, choking me up.

“Thank you guys, but Allie took this, isn’t it the most beautiful picture? Look, she even got Purina with all four hooves off the ground. Doesn’t it look like we’re flying?”

Cait climbs up onto Allie’s lap and squeezes her neck in a tight hug, “Thank you for making Mom look so good. Now she’ll be sure to find a boyfriend!”