Things I've Learned

I worked in medicine a long time and along the way have stock piled some tips and tricks that might make your lives a little bit easier.  This is just a quick list of things that popped into my head.

So, here we go...

• When you have to do hemoccult cards, it is easiest to wipe and then use the sticky-thingy to scrape a sample off of the TP and put it on the card.
• However, if you must collect stool samples (always a joy), drape the back half of the toilet with Seran Wrap, do your thing, pour off any errant pee (there's always some) and collect your, um, bounty.  Then roll the left overs off of the Seran Wrap and flush it.  Wash your hands.  Thoroughly.  Twice.  Really.  You've just played with your own poop.
• To collect stool samples on babies, find the cheapest plastic diapers you can find and put them on the baby inside out.  This does not work with those "cloth-like" diapers.
• Ladies - if you're ever prescribed antibiotics, eat yogurt every day to prevent yeast infections.  It doesn't have to be that over-priced Activia; the live cultures are what makes yogurt, well, yogurt.  Buy the cheap stuff on sale.  This also works for kids who are on antibiotics to prevent upset stomachs and diarrhea.
• Guys - if the unspeakable happens and you end up on Viagra, be sure to take it with Tylenol.  It will prevent the headache.  'Cause let's be honest, "Honey, I've got a headache" is the woman's line.
• Liquid antacid, such as Maalox, is most excellent for diaper rash.  Just put it on a cotton ball and wipe it on.  It neutralizes the pee 'n poop, coats the skin, and is a whole lot easier to wipe off at diaper change time than any of the diaper rash ointments.  (Wish I'd known about this when Digger ate a whole ton of green chili as a toddler and ended up with acid burns on his little butt.)
• Full strength hydrogen peroxide is God's gift for blood removal.  Just pour on the blood and watch it disappear.  (Wonder if Luminol will still find the blood if it's removed with peroxide?)
• Original Tampax, cut into thirds, work wonders on nose bleeds.  Just shove a piece into the bleeding nose; the expansion of the tampon puts pressure on the bleeding and controls it.  While we're on nose bleeds, don't tip your head back.  The blood will drain down your throat and make you nauseous.

And here's a big one:
Every. Single. Pharmaceutical house has a patient assistance program.
They've always had them; it's like the biggest, best kept secret in medicine.  If you can't afford your daily meds, search their website or have your doctor's Medical Assistant get you the patient assistance application.  Takes about ten minutes to fill out, attach a prescription from your doctor and send it in.  They will send you a three month's supply of meds for a small price (most of the time, it's free, but some have a sliding fee scale).  It's good for a year, so every three months you'll open your mailbox to find a little gift from your friendly drug company.

Thank You Very Much GregoryJ.

Because of you, I've had to enable comment moderation.

Because one person can't play nice,

the rest of my friends have to jump through an unnecessary hoop.

Go ahead, put another notch on your "Victory" page.

It'll be the last from me.