Overnight Gender Re-assignment

My wonderful, amazing Ed Assistant, Amanda, always tells me, "you're such a boy," when I talk about going off-roading with Jay or going shooting or going to the XRRA championship.  Guess she's more right than she thought.

This virus (I'm refusing to call it the flu, my rapid test came back negative) has absolutely turned me into the stereotypical sick male.  I'm whiny, demanding, and an all-around pain in the butt.  God help the child that does not ask how high to jump when I suddenly need something.  After all, I gave them life.  The least they can do is bring me Sprite, snot rags, and munchies while I'm lying on my death bed.  Right?  At least I'm not asking them to massage my feet or give me bed baths.  All I want is to be left alone (until I summon them), peace and quiet (like that will ever happen), and a little sympathy.  Is that too much to ask?

I'm pretty sure that they're organizing a coup and I'll be left to die by my lonesome, pooled in my own fever sweat, begging until my voice gives out for snot rags or Sprite.

Germs, germs, go away.

No, really, I mean it.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Just two weeks ago I had the head cold from hell while my daughter was down and out with the flu.  I took a sick day for the first time in a very, very long time, rallied and got my sorry butt back to work.  I truly believed that the household was out of danger from the flu, despite the fact that AshLynne's boyfriend had tested positive for it and had spend a week home from school and work.  My reason for being so optimistic is that it's been TWO weeks, the incubation period should have been over.  Hmm...not so much.

Yesterday, I felt great.  Went up to Mom's to see Estes for one last time before she came down to winter pasture today.  The weather was crappy up on the hill, even though it was absolutely beautiful down here in town, so we didn't go out on a ride.  I attempted to spend some time with Queen Estes, but she wasn't feeling it.  She'd let me pet and scratch, but the minute I went in for a cuddle or a kiss, she'd turn away.  I'm now thinking that she could smell that I was getting sick.  Horses identify their humans by smell, and if I didn't smell right of course she wouldn't want me in her personal space.  At least that's what I'm telling myself to keep from getting hurt feelings that my baby girl didn't want any cuddles yesterday.  Today, my parents loaded her up and took her to winter pasture in Lyons.  From now until March/April, I'll get limited visits with her, as she'll be turned out with the rest of her old herd (and my parents' horses, which will move down next week) to run loose for the winter.

I'd like to think she was saying "sorry, Mommy."  but I somehow doubt it.

Last night, I had a little cough and a stubborn lung cookie that just wouldn't go away, but I still had no idea I was getting sick.  This morning, I woke up with a little headache and took some Tylenol before I went to work.  Still didn't think I was sick, it was just a freaking headache.  As I was teaching my phlebotomy class (which I LOVE), I kept getting hot, then cold, but I was moving between two rooms and the students had the same complaint.  One room was hot; the other was cold.  Still had no idea I was getting sick. 

My headache got worse, but, you know, it was time for the Tylenol to wear off.  No big deal, just take some more.  My lower back started aching, but, again, I blamed it on something else...the new "grown up" shoes I'd worn to work on Monday.  In all honesty, I never wear heels, and my new shoes have some good heels on them and my back's been hurting ever since.  But, probably, three days after the fact, my back pain should have been gone.

I made it through class, got back to my desk and started coughing until I gagged.  Then the hot flash hit.  Oh shit.  It hit me...this was no bueno at all.  I snuck back into the lab, grabbed the thermometer and zapped myself with it.  101.6  on Tylenol.  Shit, shit, shit.  Can't be right.  Nope.  I'm impervious to microorganisms.  I can't be sick.  I slunk back into the office and handed the thermometer to the Education Assistant.  She zapped me in the other ear.  101.7.  Shit.  Guess that explains the headache and muscle aches.

You know, for working in medicine as long as I have, I'm apparently pretty crappy at recognizing the symptoms of illness in myself.  I'm impervious to microorganisms, I'm impervious to microorganisms...my magic anti-sick mantra didn't help at all today.

They couldn't get me out of the office fast enough and they are probably fumigating the whole thing as I type this.  And they're probably saying that they knew I was sick all along...