A Bombshell and then Radio Silence

Or something like that.

First, the bombshell.  My baby, my first born, my sweet, sweet son (he's sweet now that he's living on his own and is self-sufficient) has decided to co-habitate with his girlfriend.  What's so horrible about that, you ask?

I have not met her.  What if she's not worthy of my son? 

Never would I have ever thought I'd be THAT mom.  The one who instantly distrusts any girl who ropes my son in.  But I've never met her.  They've only been "together" for about a month.  A month!  Again with being THAT mom.  I swear, I'm not.  I have no idea who this crazy lady is who has taken over my thoughts.

All I want is for Digger to be happy.  No, really.  That's what I want.  So who is THAT mom who keeps taking over my feelings?

He assures me I'll love her when we meet.  Of course he does.  But he's my baby.  He's only 19 - what does he know about happily ever after?  (Mom and Bill - don't. want. to. hear. it.)

So what that I was 18 when I got married and 20 when I had Digger.  That was me.  Not my baby.

I guess part of my problem is that while I thought about the kids growing up and moving out - I never really counted on them getting married.  That was a totally abstract thought.  Sure, they were going to grow up and get married.  But it never crossed my mind that I'd have daughter- or son-in-laws.

I know, I know.  I'm jumping the gun.  They're just moving in together.

First, they got a dog.

The next day, I find out they're going to be living together.

Now what? (Mr. Daddy - we've had this conversation, you just shut it.)

So...

On to the radio silence.  I'm off the radar for a few days while I'm off at SHOT Show with Tara.  See y'all in a few days.

Winner, Winner!

Using Random Name Picker, I plugged in all of the comments from the give-away and ... drum roll...

brian said...
2011 Dodge Challenger, black, smoked-out windows, de-flagged, rims, hemi, the works.
...oh and, peace on earth, good will towards all me :)

Brian - I checked, and CSN does have Dodge Challengers, but I don't think you'll fit in the little models.  Hopefully, you'll be able to find something that you like.  Email me and I'll shoot you the winner's code for your $40 GC.

Last Day for Giveaway!

Don't forget that today's the last day to enter my giveaway!

Go here and leave a comment to be entered.  Good luck, everyone!

Tara's Coming To Play

The other GunDiva, Tara Janzen, is going to be doing a guest blog over at Girls With Guns.  She's the author of the award-winning and New York Times Bestselling Steel Street series and I seriously heart her.

On Wednesday, jump on over to GWG to join what is certain to be a thought-provoking and fun post.

And don't forget to enter here for a chance at a $40 gift certificate from CSN stores.

Did You Get What You Asked For? *Giveaway*

Well, if you didn't, here's your chance to win a $40 shopping spree at CSN stores.  Though I won't be getting any more modern dining room furniture until after ALL of the heathi are out of the house, CSN stores has some good stuff.  RockCrawlinChef moved some pretty cool furniture in when we got married, but I'm thinking that we might want stuff that we can entertain with.

I'm pretty sure that there's something that you want and had hoped you'd get it for Christmas, but it didn't show up under the tree.  'Cause, dang, I know that Santa did not drop off the consecutively numbered, semi-matching AR-15s under the tree that RCC and I were hoping for.

So...'fess up...what is it you wanted and didn't get this year?  And don't give me all that "I have my health/my happiness/a loving family and what more could you ask for" crap.  A book?  Jewelry?  A trip? The winning lottery numbers?

Leave me a comment with what you wanted by midnight CST on Wednesday, January 12th.  I'll plug your names in a random generator thingy and announce my winner on Friday, January 14th.  Entries limited to three (because I have some long-winded, smart-alec family and friends).

Flashback to pre-2008

Life's been especially good for the last few years.  And I mean especially good.  Good enough that I had almost forgotten how rotten it can be.

And then it slapped me in the face last night.

That's what I get for thinking that I'd finally gotten everything straightened out and turned around.

I know I'm making it sound all doom-and-gloom, but I'm having a bit of a pity party for myself.

When I graduated college, the only job I could find was building trophies for about $6.50 an hour.  I had three kids, a brand-new college degree and a minimum wage job.  I had quit a job that was paying $22.50 in 1993 to return to school.  I don't make $22.50 an hour as an Associate Dean once I break down my hours.

But I digress. 

When I graduated from college, life sucked just as bad as while I was in college.  Let's face it, minimum wage is minimum wage even with a shiny new college degree.  At that point, my rent was literally 80% of my income.  I had to choose between paying my student loan payments or paying rent.  I chose to pay rent and defaulted on my student loans.  Now I know about deferments and forbearance, but when I tried to talk to the student loan people at my school about it back then, no one said a word.  I had no clue that I could have applied for one or both.  Thanks a lot financial aid people at CSU.  Fuckers.

Long story short, I spent many years working many jobs and gradually worked my way up to a point where I could afford to enter a "rehabilitation" program for my student loans.  When I entered the program, I was advised to not file taxes if I thought I was going to receive a refund - any refund - because it's "offset" - taken to pay back what I owed.  The problem was, that the offset came off of the interest, not the principal.  So, for years, I've been holding back on filing my income taxes.

I finished my rehab program, got my congratulatory letter for finishing it, and was told the offset had been removed.  Not trusting the government to be speedy, I waited an additional year before filing taxes.  I finally filed my taxes in October.

Since I found out what my refund was going to be, RCC and I have been coming up with creative ways to spend that chunk of money.  A lot of it was going to go directly to bills I'm still paying on, but we had a few things in mind that we wanted to do.

I've been anxiously awaiting the lump sum deposit in my account.  Woo Hoo!  I'd managed to dig myself out the financial hole the kids and I had lived in for pretty much their entire lives and it was paying off.

Until I got the mail last night.  In it was a letter saying that my entire refund had been offset.

Wait a minute...I finished the rehab program, I've been paying my student loans faithfully each month, the offset had been removed.  Or so I'd been told.

I got on the phone first thing this morning, determined to straighten out this mess.  I had played by their rules, I had waited a year for them to get it removed.  I wanted my fucking money.

The customer service lady who helped me was exceptionally nice and dug through my files, conferred with her manager and broke the bad news to me...when my student loans were consolidated, they forgot one. 

The Perkins Loan. 

I knew that; I found out a couple of months ago.  Big deal, set up some payments and crank it out.  Get it done and over with, right?  Nope.  Never got the chance. It went straight to an offset.

So, after years of playing by their rules, doing everything they asked, I still managed to get screwed.

I'm going back to my pity party now...

*Sigh* Another Year Dawns

It seems like I didn't have enough time in 2010 to get everything done.  I checked in with last year's resolutions and felt like it was a draw.  No surprise, I'm recycling all four of them for this year and adding one.

#1: Be healthier.  I semi-succeeded with this one, in that I ended the year weighing less than I started the year.  But I'm in worse shape, not better.  This year, I'll be turning the big four-oh.  I so want to hit my birthday forty pounds lighter than I am now.  Turning the big four-oh, forty pounds lighter.  Yep, sounds like a good omen to me :)  Going to check out a gym tomorrow; have to join one.  I'm too much of a wimp to 1) run and 2) run in the cold.  Screw that business.

#2: Write, write, write.  Re-query TALES FROM THE TRAIL.  Finish HUNTED LYON and begin editing it.  Get to work on the second book in the Lyon series, LYON'S ROAR.

#3: Spend more time with my little girl.  Because, let's face it, there's just never enough time to spend with the equine loves of our lives.  I'm even going to take riding lessons while she's at winter pasture so that I can utilize my seat better.  I ride okay and have lots of hours on the back of a horse, but I'd like to have better leg/seat control.  Estes is much better trained than I am; I'd like to be a worthy rider.

#4:  Continue my Master's program.  If I play my cards right and work my arse off, RockCrawlinChef and I will walk together at graduation in 2012.  How cool would that be?

#5: Be a better person.  I'm kind of a catty, snarky bitch.  I'm trying to learn to live and let live.  It's hard.  I've always spoken my mind, hurt feelings be damned.  I grew up believing that you say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said.  I still believe that, but I think I can learn a lot from my Southern friends who can tell someone to go right to hell, give them directions, and make them think it was their idea to begin with.  It's a skill I envy.  I want to be able to bless hearts with the best of them.