Showing posts with label Gun Diva. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gun Diva. Show all posts

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Things I Heard At The Gun Shop

First, thank you to Princess of Sarcasm, who launched a great response to Gregory J, who did some major fly-by insulting of multiple blogs two days ago.  See the ultra cool button on my sidebar.

So...on to things I heard yesterday:

From the gunsmith:  "How's this go back together again?"

Discussion about customers who come in to buy a gun for protection:
"I want a gun for protection"
"Great, what are you looking for?"
"I don't know.  Something cheap."
"Cheap?"
"Yeah, couple hundred dollars."
"Really?  Your life is only worth $200?"  Yeah, that's what we want to say, but that's not what we're allowed to say.  Dang it. 

Of course, the 'cheap' guns keep us in business with all of the repairs they require.

~~~~~~~~~~

And, just for fun, a little story about one of my defensive pistol matches.

We shooters are always looking for new "scenarios" to try out in our defensive pistol matches and some of them are rather creative, like the time the bad guys attacked while we were in a simulated toilet with our pants around our ankles.  The designers of that stage actually brought boxers for "realism".  But that's not the story I'm gonna tell today.

A few years ago, Tom Cruise made a movie named Collateral.  A gun lover's wet dream.  Wouldn't you know it, the match following the release of the movie of course had a scene from the movie we were to replicate.

This is the scene from the movie:




It's a "fast rock draw" followed by a classic Mozambique (two to the chest, one to the head).  In a fast rock, you draw one-handed and shoot from the hip.  No problem.

My turn at the line, I get ready.

The buzzer goes off.

My right hand goes to the gun and I draw, clicking off the safety.  At this time, I hadn't been shooting my .45 very long, and didn't have a whole lot of rounds through it single-handed, so I brace my wrist against my ribs.

I press the trigger, feel a "whap" - like someone had just driven my nipple through my spine - hold my breath, press the trigger a second time and transition to the Mozambique.  After I finish the stage, I clear my weapon, re-holster and finally let my breath out.

When I look down, I find a perfect outline of my rear sight on my shirt. 

Yeah, being the dumbshit I was, when I braced my wrist against my ribs, I didn't give any thought to the twins being in the way.  When the slide moved back, it whacked the ever-lovin' shit out of me.  I had the presence of mind to move the gun away from my side before I shot my second round, but it wasn't until after the stage was done that I realized what had hit me.

Sadly, that was the first stage of the day, so I spent the rest of the day moving stage to stage with my gunpowder tattoo on my right boob. 

GunDiva FAIL!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Winners!

My good friend and fellow GunDiva, Tara Janzen, is an amazing author with more than twenty years as a published author.  We met when she was doing research for her current series.  I just happened to be the lucky co-instructor in her pistol safety course.  We clicked and quickly became shooting buddies. I was there when she learned to become one with her rifle; it really was beautiful and magical.

As an invisible writer, I was initially star-struck to meet a real, honest-to-God, paid author.  With seemingly millions of books to her name.  As we became better friends - and after I was "killed" over and over again at the gun shop for a scene in one of her books - I finally broke down and asked her to read some of my work.  She was honest.  I love her for that.  What I had presented to her was crap, though she was kind enough not to put it that way.

She was also the one, who, after reading some of my stories over at Tales, told me those should be published.  Since she'd been honest in her review of my previous work, I knew it was high praise.  She gave me the courage to submit my query.

Not only do I count her as one of my dearest friends, she's a hell of a writer and I love her books.  Since I love them so much, I thought I'd share with you.

Crazy Hot: Michelle Pixie











Crazy Cool: Mad Woman











Crazy Wild: Mrs Mom











Crazy Kisses: K Erickson











Crazy Love:  Dual Mom











Crazy Sweet:  Ian











On The Loose:  Vinomom











Cutting Loose: Life with Kaishon











Loose and Easy:  Foursons











...and, finally, Breaking Loose goes to Taylorvillegirl











Please email your physical addresses to me at tel835@hotmail.com so I can get them in the mail to you ASAP.  I hope you love them as much as I do.  And, guys (no - really - the penised-Americans) who read my blog, if you've won one of these books, don't let the cover put you off...my big, bad Marine brother loves them!  He just hides them inside a Playboy or some other such manly thing.

Any books not claimed by Sunday evening will be re-gifted, so fair warning.

Thank you to everyone for helping me celebrate my 200th blog post!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

True Story Tuesday - The Life of an Elementary School Teacher

As always, thank you to Rachel and Mr. Daddy for hosting this little weekly get-together.  Head on over there for some more fun-filled TSTs.

My sister, Not A GunDiva, is an elementary school teacher, and has been for several years.  She teaches 1st and 2nd grade, and while most of her stories have more to do with crazy loving, helicopter involved parents, on occasion, she gets one from a student that is worth sharing.

NAGD:  I feel frustrated when you don’t listen to directions and then you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing.  When I give directions, do you understand what I am saying?
Student:  Yea
NAGD:  So, you are not confused with the directions?
Student:  No
NAGD:  Do you just have so much going on in your head that you can’t focus on what I’m saying? GunDiva in: why would you ask a seven year-old that?
Student:  Yea, because I have to remember everything so I can get into college and it’s a long time away and there’s a lot to remember!  GunDiva: Oh, I guess that's why.



Okay, there's a big difference in the interactions between my sister and her elementary students and me and my college-age students.  Here's how the exchange would look if it was me and one of my students...

GD:  You know, it really pisses me off irritates me when I give directions and you still don't know what you're supposed to be doing.  Was I unclear?
Student:  No
GD:  So the directions are clear and you understand them?
Student:  Yes
GD:  Then why the fuck should I repeat them again? 
Please, please let NAGD's student grow up to be one of mine, because he at least is trying to remember everything he needs to know for college.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Follow up to last week's TST:

RockCrawlinChef managed to dig up this picture of Scamp's face when he pounced on me...
Okay, so maybe Scamp was saying, "Good Lord, cork it up!"

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Double-Dose of Mrs. Mom

Mrs. Mom is guest blogging over at Tales from the Trail today, so be sure to jump over there to see her.  Once you've busted your funny bone reading about the wild ride she had, be sure to read the follow up to her Very Bad Day post.  She answers a lot of the comments she got about her run-in with the dredges of society and even throws in some statistics.  Gotta love those statistics!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Mrs. Mom's Very Bad Day

No, I'm not Mrs. Mom, but she's a fellow GunDiva and the experience she had today just reinforced my belief in my Right to Keep and Bear Arms (not that it needed reinforced).  She's scheduled to guest over at Tales from the Trail on Wednesday, but I think that y'all need to hop on over to her blog and read today's post.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Random Thoughts In GunDiva's Head

Things that keep me up at night...
  • Baltimore got 72" of snow. 
  • That's six feet.
  • I am 60" tall, so they got a whole foot more snow than I am tall.
  • Estes is 14.2 hands tall.  That's 50".
  • They got almost two feet more snow than my horse is tall.
  • Glad I don't live in Baltimore.
  • I'd never find my horse.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Welcome, New Followers

Since Saturday morning, my followers have almost doubled.  Hell, if I'd known that all I had to do to increase my followers was to publically announce that I've got a polar bear attached to my ass and I have to lose it to gain followers, I would have done it long ago!  So, welcome and here's a quick history lesson of me and my blog(s).

Why "GunDiva" as a name?  Well, that's easy.  I love, love, love to shoot anything that goes bang.  In the past, I've competed in defensive pistol and long-range rifle matches.  I visited my brother in Arizona one year and we went to the Scottsdale Gun Club.  They had a cute little baby-doll t-shirt with "Gun Diva" printed on it.  I bought the shirt and the nickname GunDiva stuck.

This blog started, I guess, as a way to share stories with my family and friends.  It was kind of just a fun way to write.  This blog, my primary one, is kind of a catch-all for anything.  There's no real theme.  I brag about my students, my horse, my kids and my husband.  I also rant on ocassion, the most recent being about an idiot (if she wasn't an idiot, I wouldn't have had to rant) in a movie theater.  And most recently, my blog is being used to document my 1st resolution of 2010 - to become healthier (I'm trying my best not to say "lose weight").

My second blog, Tales From The Trail, arose from my years as a wrangler in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.  I'll be submitting the stories to a publisher (with help from a dear friend and fellow GunDiva) this spring in hopes of getting them published.  Keep your fingers crossed.

My third blog, Lyon's Roar Protection, is a WIP that has been sorely neglected of late.  My hope is to post once a week, but that hasn't been working out so well, with the majority of my energy being directed toward getting Tales published.

I've got three teenagers and a new husband...


...the equine love of my life...



...a cat...



...a step-dog...



...and amazing friends...





Monday, October 5, 2009

A Very Cool Picture



Ignore me, but take a close look at the barrel of the gun.  Thomas (probably just luck) managed to catch the bullet as it exited the barrel.  What a cool damn picture.  Thanks Thomas!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Killing Zombies - What a Great Day!

Today was the first Defensive Pistol Match (NCRGC) I've been to since June or July last year, right after Jay and I got engaged.  It was awesome!

Last night, Ash and I had a good mother-daughter bonding moment when she came up to my room to help me load up my magazines.  Not quite the typical mother-daughter bonding moment, but special to me at least.  I love that my kids are also interested in shooting.

I recently got my Para LTC back.  I had to sell it a couple of years ago, but the gentleman who bought it told me that if I ever wanted it back, he'd sell it back to me.  So, lucky me, I got it back.  I picked it up on Friday and fondled it a lot over the weekend.  It felt wonderful to shoot it again.  I ran into a couple of snags, but they were my fault, I'm sure.  My hands and forearms aren't nearly as strong as they were when I was shooting all the time and I limp-wristed it a couple of times, causing a mis-feed or two.  No big deal.  Despite the cold weather and mist, I had a grin ear-to-ear.  Nothing better than killing Zombies on a Sunday!

Have lots of video, but since I've "upgraded" to the "easy-to-use" blogger I've lost my ability to upload video.  WTH?  But that's a blog for another day.  Just know it was AWESOME!

Friday, September 11, 2009

GunDiva Day


What a fabulous day! Finally, we managed to get together this morning for a little bit of gunpowder therapy. The weather was great, the company amazing (love you Glenna), and the shooting good. Very rarely do I ever shoot as well as I want to, but it's always a good time. We only shoot one magazine each time we go out and we drill on the basics, but as the Original Bad Boy often tells us, "slow is smooth, smooth is fast." Next week, we'll work on something else, I think. Probably rapid fire, but who knows?

I treasure the days that Glenna and I do actually get to go out - they don't occur nearly frequently enough. No matter how bad the day or week or month has been, when I return from getting my "Glenna time" all is right with the world. She's got such a wonderful, calming influence on me and I am so lucky to have found a fellow GunDiva in her. Looks like I may get more Glenna time. I'm considering a return to the gun shop one afternoon a week - with a promise from her of some of her wonderful green chili and a promise from the Boss Man of a new Para. See how easily this GunDiva can be bought? Yummy green chili and a shiny new gun and I'll sign on to do data entry.


Friday, March 6, 2009

Wheelin', Horses and Gunpowder Therapy

What a great week!

Wheelin'...I've been working my butt off at work, feeling every ounce of resposibility for getting almost 200 students scheduled correctly, grading done and new classes set up. So I was really, really looking forward to last weekend. RockCrawlinChef and I had been planning for MONTHS to attend the Rock Zombie Outlaw's Winterfest with his truck, Tinkerbell, in Parker, CO. I couldn't wait for a weekend away - I wasn't going to spend one second thinking about work. We loaded up Tink and took her on down to Parker. I've never been rock crawling, but I've been looking forward to it for a long time. RCC did warn me that we wouldn't be doing any actual rock crawling, but four-wheeling (yes, there is a difference), as the obstacles were designed for "normal" four-wheel vehicles, not big girls like Tink. Didn't matter, I was thrilled to be going, to get to ride in Tink "for real" rather than "for pretend" like around the block or at the Christmas Caravan for Kids/Toys for Tots event.

We found our way to the event site, unloaded Miss Bell, climbed up her big 49" tires into her cab and we were off for a lap to get the layout of the land. Miss Bell, for some reason, was not very happy. She kept stalling and being belligerent, but RCC kept coaxing her on. We managed to make one small obstacle - a short slope downhill with a water crossing and back up the other side - when she became even more belligerent, so we turned around to head back to the truck and trailer to figure out what was going on. We powered up the hill leading back to the parking area and RCC decided that he'd check the transmission fluid. Hmmm...not good. She had transmission fluid, but it was obviously burned and was a little low, so RCC topped her off and climbed back up into the cab only to find out that Tinky no backy. Somehow, she'd lost reverse and we could now only go forward. Not a big problem, but Tink's a big girl. Her turning radius is somewhere around a half a mile. Without reverse, we were dead in the water. No wheelin' for us. Ten minutes or so after we unloaded we were done. We loaded Tink back onto the trailer, very thankful that she was stuck in forward not reverse, grabbed the Flip (camcorder) and headed down to the Zombie Graveyard to watch. Despite not being able to participate, I had an amazing time watching everyone attempt the Graveyard, which is a fairly difficult water crossing with loose boulders on each slope to navigate. There was lots of carnage (wheel-speak for tipping over and/or breaking of vehicles) and tons of audience participation. I heard one woman say that she loved the event because you don't even need a vehicle to have a good time. I whole-heartedly agree!

I was disappointed that our weekend away turned out to be a weekend at home afterall, but it felt so wonderful to spend Saturday outside in the sun after being locked up in my office for what felt like weeks on end. I even enjoyed the free dermabrasion from the wind and river silt.

...Horses...
Even though I had a wonderful time on Saturday, I was still feeling a bit stressed out at work and decided to play hookie Tuesday afternoon. Monday, I sent an email to my collegues telling them that I would be unavailable from Tuesday at 1:00pm to Wednesday at 6:30 am. I had no intention of even thinking about work, the students could manage for one afternoon/evening without me, any schedule problems could be handled on Wednesday, I was outta there!

I checked the weather and found that Tuesday was supposed to be almost 70 degrees! In March! Score! I called Mom and Bill to see who wanted to join me for some equine therapy and planned to spend Tuesday afternoon with my baby girl. Turns out Mom had guests checking in, but Bill was in desperate need of equine therapy so we arranged to meet in Lyons at Ida's pasture.

As I drove alongside the pasture, I looked over to find the horses and what do I see but Ida's red truck dragging the field and the entire herd, Mom's grays in the lead, following the truck in circles. Ida was like the freakin' horse Pied Piper. Bill was just a couple of minutes behind me, so I called him and told him to watch as he drove up, but by then the show was over, the horses had decided that no hay was going to fall off the back of the truck and the ground up cow manure blowing in their faces wasn't a whole lot of fun.

Ida saw Bill and me when we walked out to the herd and stopped to chat for a minute. I asked her if she'd seen Estes' picture in Trail Rider Magazine and she told me that she had bought the magazine. It's not often that the horse you raised and trained shows up in a national horse magazine, even if it is just an advertisement for Julie Goodnight. Ida went back to dragging the field and Bill and I set to catching our horses.

Estes gave me a little attitude about being caught, but was fairly easy to catch. She just had to let me know that it was her choice to be caught. Of course, the treat in my pocket and the curry comb in my hand may have helped her decide not to be a poop about being caught. She loves being pampered, especially after her stint as a TV star. I groomed her, scratched all of her itchy places, and pulled chunks of mud from the feathering around her hooves. I think if she was a cat, she would have purred.

The whole time I was grooming her, Bill was trying to catch Ranger, who was being a poop about being caught. Ranger was definitely in "wild horse" mode; he didn't want to be caught, and by God, Bill wasn't going to catch him. Funny how that attitude changed once Bill cut him from the herd and wouldn't let him re-join it. I was long done grooming Estes and had run the curry comb over a couple of the other horses in the herd while we watched Bill walk off Ranger. Doc, one of Ida's younger geldings with a wide white blaze and blue eyes, decided that I was a-okay and groomed my hair for me while Peanut, her big bay gelding, snuffled and helped Doc groom my ponytail.

Ranger finally ceded to Bill and allowed himself to get caught and groomed. Once the halter was on, he was magically transformed into Bill's mild mannered dog.

You know all is right with the world when you're sharing a beautiful, albeit windy, day in the foothills with some of God's best four-legged critters.

...and Gunpowder Therapy...
I went back to work Wednesday absolutely refreshed and ready to go (even though RockCrawlinChef and Digger had spend the night playing not-so-musical bathroom due to an ugly stomach bug). But my wonderful week wasn't over yet! I still had a GunDiva reunion to look forward to! Glenna, the other GunDiva, finished her book and revisions and was ready for some Gunpowder Therapy. I love shooting, but haven't been since I got my ass handed to me at the August Defensive Pistol match last year. Since I sold all of my guns a couple of years ago, I've been shooting borrowed guns and one in particular I just can't get a handle on. I tried and tried with this gun, but it just wasn't working for me, so while I was really, really looking forward to shooting with Glenna, I was also dreading shooting that darn 9mm. Last night as I was falling asleep, I remembered I had a .45 to shoot and I even had some extra rounds in a couple of my old magazines. Yay!

I woke up ready to go. The GunDivas haven't spent any quality time together since before RCC and I started dating, so even if we didn't get any shooting done, it would be wonderful to catch up with her. I unloaded the 9 from my shooting bag and replaced it with the .45, determined to do better this time.

We long ago decided that quality shooting was better than quantity shooting, so we knew going out that we'd only shoot a magazine or so. It's all about technique and precision when we go out, and the last couple of times we had gone (forever ago) I had finished up completely frustrated. I felt like I had to master that 9mm and the harder I tried, the worse I got. I knew going out today that I might not shoot any better with the .45, afterall, it's been seven months since I've had any trigger time and that was not a good experience.

Shouldn't have worried. We did some dry-fire practice, just presenting from the holster and lining up our sight picture for warm-up before going live.

1st live round, dead on! 2nd live round, right above the first. The 3rd round obliterated the small sliver of paper separating the 1st two rounds and so on until the magazine was empty.

Hell yes! The GunDiva is back!


I can't explain the relief I felt to see the half-dollar size hole in the target. That's more like it. That all-over-the-place bullshit with the 9 was o-v-e-r. I didn't realize how much psychological damage shooting poorly had done - after all, I'm the GunDiva, I've always shot well and prided myself on it - until I picked up that .45 and did well with it today.

Thank you Glenna for going out to the range with me today, it was wonderful. Euphoric, even.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

New York Times' Best Seller!


My dear friend and fellow Gun Diva, Tara Janzen, just released her 9th book in the Steele Street (CRAZY/LOOSE) series, which debuted #33 on the New York Times' Best Seller List! Yay, Tara! Check out her website, http://www.tarajanzen.com/, for more on her books and the kick-ass shotgun she built (Skeeter's Shotgun).

Tara and I met a couple of years ago (about 6 books ago, I think) while I was helping teach a firearms class. We immediately hit it off and I absolutely adore her. Besides being an amazing human being, she's my favorite shooting buddy (sorry, RockCrawlinChef). Tara's one of the hardest working people I know and it's about time that she made the List! Honestly, she's one of the best authors around - she's got a way with words that I envy - and I'm so proud of her for this well-deserved honor.
Congratulations Tara - the Heathi and I love you!